Jennifer 2.0

Lately I've been lucky enough to have two of my dearest non-child-bearing (yet!) friends visit and both of them asked me if I feel different being a mom, and how I think it's changed me. This got me thinking because it's kind of a weird question to answer. Your first reaction is to say no, I feel like the same person, but when you stop and examine your life post- the addition of a baby, you realize Everything has changed.

I think my personality is the same, and there is no question that my most endearing qualities just shine when I'm around these friends. I'm pretty lucky to have friends that really bring out the best version of me. But I also have Madelyn who without a doubt brings out a version of me I didn't even know existed. I feel like I'm such a better person after only having her in my life for 14 months. I have better perspective, I'm more giving, sympathetic, and definitely less selfish (not that I had a choice on this last one- hah).

I used to put myself first and now my default setting is to put myself last, which I think many moms would sympathize with. I used to be consumed in to-do lists and errands and I now force myself to stop and just enjoy the moments with my friends and family. I used to eat three square meals a day, and while I'm definitely getting back to that, it's not uncommon for me to skip dinner 3 or 4 nights a week. Or haphazardly stuff some cereal in my mouth once I get Madelyn down to bed.

I used to love going out for mexican food and margaritas, seeing movies, and laying by the pool. And if I said that I don't miss the freedom of being able to do whatever I want I'd be lying. But I'm perfectly content being at home every night reading Goodnight Moon and playing hide and seek.

I think at the core I'm the same person I always was, just with a few small stretch marks and a gulit complex that won't quit (this comes standard upon conception- just wait and see).

Having a child is like reading the sappiest Nicolas Sparks love story ever. On the nights Madelyn is generous with her hugs and kisses I go to bed thinking about all of those sweet moments, or I replay how she ran to me bursting with excitement when I picked her up from daycare. Or how she said "car" on the way home. Those are the small victories in my day, amidst the laundry, work, and seeming lack of a social life :)

Plus, we can make mexican and margaritas at home anytime we want :)