Friday, December 30, 2011
I felt this way when we were in the hospital. As a self proclaimed control freak, existing in a new reality that gave me no say whatsoever was a rude awakening. I felt betrayed and wondered how on earth this was happening to us. When actually, my lack of control should have given me some solace.
Recently I've heard of two other babies in the hospital, the stories of which immediately brought tears to my eyes. I know what those parents were feeling and the mere remembrance of those emotions cause a physical reaction in me that I truly cannot control.
A very sweet sorority sister (also fellow high school volleyball player and fellow blogger) lost her brand new baby boy Reid this month. She said many prayers for Davis when we needed them and as they struggled to sustain Reid's life I prayed constantly. When I then heard of his passing I felt hopeless, like all of our prayers were for naught.
Last night we found out that an acquaintance of ours (and Matt's best friend's cousin) is in the hospital with their little girl who has spinal meningitis and is currently in a medically-induced coma. We don't have any additional details but again, we find ourselves in constant prayer. Knowing of their situation, which bears such similarity to our own, caused me to cry everytime I looked at Davis last night. I cried for the days we spent in sheer agony and for every day we've spent at home since. But mostly I cried out of desperation and for a lack of ability to explain why these things happen.
I suppose it's in these times we should lean on God the most that sometimes cause us to turn away. I know miracles happen. It is the only explanation for why I get to rock my sweet boy in his room everyday, but it is very difficult for me to understand why everyone doesn't get to be as lucky as us, and it makes me feel extremely guilty for this amazing gift we've been given.
When I was in the hospital three different friends send me the lyrics to this song called "Blessings" by Laura Story. I found it awfully ironic that three separate people would suggest the exact same song to me, but looking back on it I understand why. Here are the words. If you are hoping for a miracle for someone else, waiting on one of your own, or just trying to make sense out of this world, I hope this helps.
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family,
protection while we sleep
We pray for healing,
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while,
You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness,
we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heartThat this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nightsAre what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Our family hit a few important milestones this week that I thought were worth sharing. Behold Marden family accomplishments, December 2011 edition.
1. Davis is rolling over! Just 4 days after his 3 month birthday my little love bug decided he wanted to move and he's barely stopped since, begging the need for his new nick name, roly poly. Given his new fascination with movement we've had to stop swaddling him which has lead to a few sleepless nights, but Moms on Call assures me that after three nights he'll get used to being unswaddled and we'll go back to sleeping normally. Tonight is the third night--fingers crossed.
2. Madelyn is almost completely (afraid to say it for fear I may jinx myself) potty trained! Alert the media, cue the harps, and let's all cheer for having one diaperless child! We've been slowly (very slowly) working with her on it since the end of the summer because we've known for quite some time she was smart enough to understand, but as I'm leaning, she is a child who will do things on her time, when she is ready. And it appears she was ready to give mommy an early Christmas present, that sweet girl. I say almost potty trained because she's still in pull ups at night and has yet to go in a public restroom, but we'll get there.
(p.s. I love Davis' face in this picture. He is clearly excited about cuddling with his big sissy)
3. For the first year on record I had all of my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving and even got little teacher gifts for Madelyn's daycare together way before the week of Christmas. I'd like to thank the following parties for making this possible: Amazon.com, Potterybarn.com, and my company, for allowing me two extra weeks of maternity leave and the ability to be home during this busy time of year. Yay for shopping online at home in yoga pants. Oh, and thanks to Minted and Erin Condren for our cute gift labels.
Hope you all have a safe and wonderful Christmas holiday!!
Monday, December 19, 2011
I have been wanting to start some family traditions of our own but given my general lack of creativity have found more inspiration from Pinterest and other blogs than from my own creation. I figure, no need to reinvent the wheel. So, in an effort to share with other creatively-challenged folks out there, I thought I'd share.
First, we've decided going forward that we'll wrap all of our Christmas books and leave them under the tree, then each evening the kids can open one to read before bed. After Christmas, all of the books will go up in the attic with the other seasonal decorations until next year so they'll be fresh and new all over again. This fun idea (and below image) was courtesy of Meredith over at the Tichenor Family.
Second, we've begun a relationship with our Elf on the Shelf that Madelyn lovingly named "Smileyface." Admittedly not my first choice for our Elf's moniker, but I suppose it's not my game :) So far, Smiley is proving to be an excellent bargaining chip against disobedient behavior which makes mama happy.
Third, we will celebrate Christmas Eve every year with a Mexican fiesta. To me, there is no better way to embrace our savior's birth than a copious variety of dishes covered in melted cheese. Can I get an Amen?
And lastly, from Nina, each year we will all get a new pair of Christmas jammies to wear on Christmas Eve and while opening presents the following morning. This really appeals to my cheesy need for coordinated family photos during which I can assure you both children will be looking in different directions. Cute jammies do not perfect photos make, but everytime we wear them we'll remember our Christmas together and that's priceless.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
When we had Madelyn our life didn't really change. Sure we lost some sleep and the ability to travel without 19 suitcases and a monstrous SUV, but we still traveled. We could both easily take off for an afternoon to have some alone time because managing one kiddo is relatively easy...especially, you realize, once you have two.
With Davis things are very very different. Though he looks healthy, happy, and thriving, he is still a 13 week old baby with a heart condition. And this has taken the meaning of selfless sacrifice to a whole new level.
We have very little social life because our sweet boy isn't supposed to be around a lot of people, especially children who could potentially be sick. We've forgone holiday parties, playdates, and even church for his safety (and per doctor's orders). What this usually means is that Matt and Madelyn attend all of the fun things and me and little D stay home. This is actually ok with me-knowing that this is our last baby I want to soak up all of his sweetness as long as I can- and it certainly isn't fair that Madelyn suffer because of her brother's health obstacles.
We don't eat out. We used to love to go out for Mexican or hit up a burger joint on a Saturday night, now we stick to once-a-week Chick-Fil-A drive through that we can bring home. I can't just throw him in the car and run up to the grocery store or Target because those are the other venues the doctors would prefer he avoid. It's just too risky to have him in those environments, especially during this time of year.
Once we were sure of Davis' diagnosis we knew our life would truly never be the same. He can't attend daycare due to the dangers of illness so we've hired a nanny to stay home with him while I work. This is obviously an unplanned financial burden but one we're happy to take on, given that it means we are home with him and the alternative would be waiting for a heart transplant in the hospital. We've completely given up our peace of mind. We can't ever fully relax and assume he is "ok" because we just don't know.
His sweet sister can't even kiss her own brother for fear of what she might be carrying, so she sweetly kisses his toes and his head until we *hopefully* find out, some time down the road, that he's fully recovered.
I'm not saying these things to complain, in fact quite the opposite. It's amazing what you can give up without even a second thought for the sake of your children. Sure I'd love to take Davis out to eat or to a Christmas party where I can show him off to everyone we know--part of the joy of having children is being able to share them with people-but I know right now my selfish wants have to take a backseat to his well being and I am 100% ok with that. I thank God every day for my two little monkeys, and if it means I have to drink my wine at home with Matt instead of in a fancy restaurant, that is fine with me.
Friday, December 9, 2011
I will be grateful that our neighbors painted their house and not complain that they chose a shade of mint green only appropriate for South Beach and nursing homes.
I will be grateful that I have a wonderful supportive job and not bitter that I have to leave my babies four days a week.
I will be grateful that my sweet husband does the dishes, makes the bed, and throws in laundry and not complain when he doesn't do it the way I want.
I will be grateful that my body has successfully given me two incredible children and not complain about the saggy parts.
I will be grateful that we have a roof over our heads even if it may not be the one we want.
I will be grateful when Madelyn is disobedient because it means she has a strong will and thriving spirit...and she always apologizes afterwards.
I will be grateful for every busy, chaotic day because it means I have a family to take care of and people who depend on me. And if I wasn't busy it would mean I was all alone.
image from here
Monday, December 5, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
I've wanted to write a full account of our month in the hospital for quite some time but haven't felt emotionally ready to relive each and every life-sucking detail all over again. But considering the general deterioration of my brain since leaving work and increasing inability to remember anything, I figure if I don't do it now it may never be done. So here goes.
Davis was due to be born September 19th at 39 weeks via scheduled c-section. The Friday prior I awoke with debilitating pain in my abdomen. Given the close proximity to my due date we raced to the hospital and spent the day running every possible test without any conclusive results. The pain escalated to where I couldn't sit or walk without crying, yet the doctors had no clue what was wrong so they decided to go ahead and get Davis out for fear of really, the unknown. We now know that Davis somehow contracted the enterovirus from me while in utero and my body was essentially rejecting him. My immune system had sent all of my antibodies to the abdomen to fight the infection, my sweet son. Once he came out the pain was completely gone but we still didn't understand why.
At birth he was born with a fever and further testing came back with a positive but unidentifiable blood culture and low white blood cell count. Nothing that appeared too serious, so we went home.
Two days later I felt like he was overly sleepy but wasn't concerned until around 7 p.m. when he spiked a fever of 101. Within literally four minutes we had packed our bags and were on our way to the ER.
Because of his age (6 days) and his fever the ER doctor insisted upon three tests- a blood draw, a urinalysis, and a spinal tap, to which I literally told him he was out of his mind. Long emotional story short, we did them all. And I sat in the hallway outside his door listening to him scream for what felt like years as I truly cried harder than I have ever cried in my entire life. How could you do a spinal tap on a 6 day old? MY 6 day old? It was truly horrifying.
Good thing we did though, because his spinal fluid showed what appeared to be meningitis. We boarded the ambulance to the in-town children's hospital and arrived there at appx. 3 a.m. to begin a new battery of tests. After a few days we came to the conclusion that he had bacterial meningitis. At the time this was the scariest possible thing I could imagine as it meant 14 days of extremely strong antibiotics that could potentially damage his hearing and 14 days in the hospital.
A week later additional tests came back informing us that he had enterovirus. We met with infectious disease specialists, doctor after doctor after doctor, and decided to continue on our current course of treatment for fear that if he also had bacterial meningitis, we didn't want it to go untreated.
Those first few days we had a difficult time regulating his temperature. One night I'd be wiping him down with cold rags as he burned up with a raging fever, the next his temp would plummet and we'd be putting warm compresses in his swaddle. He also had several IVs through which the drugs were administered and eventually a PIC line in his arm and then later two CVLs, surgically inserted IVs that went directly into large veins. Each increasingly scary and each presented their own individual challenges and fears. It turns out Davis has very visible but extremely small, weak veins, and drawing blood or inserting an IV is both difficult (nearly impossible) and painful. The last blood draw before we left they actually had to draw from a vein in his head. Night-mare.
A few days after the entervirus diagnosis a doctor noticed Davis breathing faster than normal and we were whisked off to ICU after an echocardiogram revealed that the virus was attacking his heart. His little heart was enlarged, one of the valves was leaking, and it wasn't pumping efficiently. We spent a few days in pediatric ICU during which he was given drugs to help his heart pump, human antibodies to help his heart heal, and at one point a blood transfusion because of anemia and low blood count. We had to monitor his urine output to make sure his kidneys were receiving enough blood to function and watch for any change in his behavior that may signal his brain wasn't receiving enough blood.
After a few days he began to show improvement and we moved down to the cardiac stepdown unit where we figured we'd finish out his antibiotics and go home. Except that the day we thought we'd be told we were going home soon, a follow up echo confirmed my worst fears- his heart was getting worse, not better.
For the second time we left for ICU, this time the cardiac ICU which was a completely different environment. I wasn't allowed to stay with him, or breastfeed (so I pumped), visitors were limited, and conversation turned from being cautiously optimisted to talk of a possible heart transplant if this course of meds didn't work. This was by far the low point in our journey. We felt absolutely hopeless, bewildered, and scared to death. I couldn't eat and I barely slept. There were days I did nothing but cry.
48 hours later we were back in the stepdown unit, waiting and waiting and waiting to see if this time his heart would be able to function on its own. And if you've been reading this for long, you know, it did :)
In fact, his heart performed so well it shocked all of the doctors. His last echocardiogram actually almost appeared normal, a possibility none of us had ever considered. And with that, we were released. Of course, not without a myriad of daily maintenance medicines and immediate follow up appointments with the local cardiologist.
For 28 days I slept in his room by his side all but two nights, one of which I was literally kicked out. My mom stayed by my side every single day and went home at night where Matt was taking care of Madelyn. Wonderful friends brought us dinner (Kristin and Matt even snuck in a few beers much to the chagrin of my rule-abiding nurse), pastors visited, people we'd never even met brought us gifts to the hospital. It was an awe-inspiring experience and we're still moved thinking about it today. People all over the country were praying for our little guy and we truly felt it. I know people were praying for me too. Even though I think I probably seemed ok on the outside I was literally having a nervous breakdown on the inside. Then a few days before our release I had a complete change of heart- I realized that if he had to have a heart transplant than that was ok. He was worth every day we would spend in that hospital, and I wouldn't want anyone else in the world to be his mommy, so I better suck it up and deal.
I think one of the greatest blessings is that he was so small he won't remember any of the experience. He won't recall the excrutiating pain he encountered, the wires and monitors, or the smell of the hospital. I on the other hand, will never forget. Emotional drama aside, what it did provide us was 28 days of uninterrupted time together. I held him for 28 straight days in that hospital- praying, singing, crying, and hoping for an absolute miracle. And all I can say is I must be on God's good side because I got one.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Anyways, it was a super fun holiday. A little hectic with two kids, 50 people in attendance, and house guests, but totally worth it. Let's just say mom and I completely forgot to cook the one side dish we were in charge of bringing. Literally completely forgot. And a family holiday is not complete without our corn casserole, but thankfully that means I get to cook it for us this week and we can eat it all ourselves!
Without further adieu, our holiday in pictures.
Here's the whole group after our big meal in my Aunt Donna's backyard. Please disregard the white bottle of RoundUp in the front of the picture. Professional photographers we are not (although I just noticed that there is a tripod on this shot that we aren't using. Strange.)
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Dear potential caretaker of my precious child,
Thank you for posting your profile to this website in hopes that you might be the right fit for our family. Before we meet for coffee to discuss your qualifications, hobbies, and past
To begin, if your profile picture portrays you as a potential drug dealer or lady of the night, you will not be hearing from me. Appropriate dress would be required for this position, and by appropriate I mean fit for public, not a jail cell.
If you have copious grammatical errors in your personal description you will not be hearing from me. I'm judgy like that.
If you are under the age of 22 or over the age of 55 you need not apply. I think we can all agree those two age groups may not be best fit for chasing my child 8 hours a day.
If you specify that you'd like to watch my child in your home but you look like someone from Hoarders, you will not be hearing from me.
And lastly, If you cannot prove you are current on your immunizations or citizenship this is not the right position for you.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to carefully screening the remaining 3 applicants that fit my criteria.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Working out after you've had a baby is no joke. It's dangerous. And it isn't pretty.
A few things I'd like to note to other new moms before attempting to shed those post-baby pounds.
1. Wear two sports bras. Unless you want to risk an accidental nose job when you knock yourself out with your newly endowed chest.
2. Wear two sports bras. Because your girls are going to be saggy enough after breastfeeding. No need to exacerbate matters with all that up and down.
3. Wear two sports bras. And hope you don't still leak through your shirt.
You'd be shocked to know how many sick children are alone in the hospital every single day. Either because their parents live far away, or they have other children to take care of, or simply because they have to work! It is absolutely heart breaking to walk by a room where a child is hooked up to more machines than you can count and to see that there is no one there with them.
Think about the joy and excitement Christmas brings when you are a child, all of which is completely stifled when you're confined to a hospital bed. It breaks my heart. Now, I know many of these children are dealing with much more important things than Christmas. In fact, many of them are there because they are literally fighting for their life. But it warms my heart to think that they can take a break from their pain and struggle to read cards from people who don't even know them yet are thinking of them and praying for them. Especially those who don't have anyone there to support them every day.
My goal is to send one card every day until Christmas. I want it to be the first thing I do each morning when I get on my computer. There are days I sit in Davis' room holding him and still can't believe we're actually home, and I don't want to forget those who aren't as lucky. Please take a minute to do the same.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
I'd say we've all been reasonably successful in our careers. We're smart cookies and as a group are all pretty driven. And when in the right position we've found quite a bit of satisfaction and fulfillment in the working world. But I think growing up we all probably imagined we'd be home with our kiddos once we got to that point in our life. Now the question was- could we ever feel fulfilled by being home with them all day? Would we be willing to make financial sacrifices to do so? Would we miss working? Or would we leave it behind like Kris Humphries and never look back?
When I had Madelyn I liked my time at home with her but I was ready to go back to work. I missed the interaction with my colleagues and the sense of accomplishment. Taking her to day care was horrible and traumatic for the first year (literally), and balancing two "jobs" was not easy but we made it work.
This time I feel completely different. I have never been happier than I am right now at home with Davis. I find joy in the most mundane things. Today, I spent an hour making an excel spreadsheet for our family Christmas card list while he napped and I was overjoyed at its completion. I can't wait for him to wake up so we can play. I love cooking dinner while he takes his afternoon nap in a quiet kitchen where I can take my time, light my pumpkin candle and have a few sips of wine. I LOVE being home. I feel fulfilled, accomplished, purposeful, and happy.
Am I going back to work? Yes. I have been blessed with an incredible job that I enjoy and a team of people that I feel blessed to work with on a daily basis. That being said, I do plan to go back at a decreased capacity so that I have more time at home with Davis and Madelyn, and I'll appreciate every minute of those days. Will I have relaxed days in the kitchen, leisurely afternoons folding laundry while I roll around on the floor playing, and long morning walks while we sing nursery rhymes? No. Will I make the most of the time I do have? Yes.
If I thought leaving Madelyn was hard, leaving Davis with a known heart condition with whom I've spent almost every waking minute for the past 8 weeks in truly unthinkable. I know I'll do it but it will not be fun and it will not be easy. As we all strive for balance in this world, I will be grateful for a job that allows me the flexibility to have more time with my sweet babies, but know with utmost certainty, that I truly belong where they are. All day. Every day.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I don't think I ever truly experienced chaos until we returned home from the hospital and proceeded to begin living together as a family of four. All I could hear was "
Welcome to the Jungle" playing in the background and all I could feel was my jaw drop as I struggled to find time to brush my teeth.
Shockingly, I'm actually learning to embrace it, which goes against everything in my usually calm, structure-loving heart.
Suddenly chaos is not so bad. As long as my babies are home with me, I'll adjust. So what if I don't have time to eat or shower? Or I've forgotten what coffee tastes like before being reheated for the fourth time? I even leave dishes in the sink, a thought my former self wouldn't dare entertain. (note: would still prefer no dishes in the sink but in the essence of personal hygiene often opt for the shower over cleaning. You understand.)
Matt and I are learning to exist in a carefully choreographed dance of feedings, baths, story time, tummy time,
Ask me how we plan to manage all of this once I go back to work and I'll pretend I didn't hear you and begin talking about something else.
That being said, if you are a qualified nanny/house cleaner/professional organizer/personal chef interested in joining our jungle, please inquire within.
(**Bonus points if you can spot the Rachel Zoe reference above. Life perspective= changed. Guilty pleasures=not changed)
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
We are an overjoyed, grateful, and THANKFUL family.
Thank you to all of you for your prayers, notes, emails, texts, etc. There is no doubt in my mind that they are responsible for Davis' remarkable recovery.
After 28 days in the hospital we were released on September 20th. Since then we've been busy adjusting to life at home with a newborn and a toddler. I could write a novel about this subject in itself but will spare you the details for another day.
As I mentioned Davis was treated for heart failure after the virus that caused his meningitis attacked his heart causing him to go into heart failure. After two separate trips to ICU and two rounds on the critical IV med amongst rounds of tests, xrays, echocardiograms, etc. he was released with an almost normally functioning heart. It is truly a miracle.
He is now on six daily medicines to keep his heart functioning as we won't know for some time if the improvement is sheer healing or just the right combo of meds, but either way we are home, he's doing wonderfully, and that's all we can really ask for. We'll deal with the future as it comes.
There is no doubt I have an entirely new perspective on our life together after what I can only describe as a true emotional nightmare. I feel like maybe this was God's way of telling me (shouting to me, rather) "Don't sweat the small stuff!" Because it really, really, couldn't matter less. All that matters it that our little family is safe and sound and I get to look into those sweet little eyes every day.
Friday, October 7, 2011
We realized last week that the virus Davis tested positive for was attacking his heart. We spent some time in ICU being treated, were released to a less critial unit of the hospital, ended up back in ICU and are now back in what is called the cardiac stepdown unit. And we'll here indefinitely.
My perfect little boy is on a medicine to help his sick little heart pump and on Friday they'll be taking him off the medicine to see if his heart can sustain function on its own. The first time we tried this it did not go well. This time it really has to. Because our only alternative is a heart transplant.
My angel has spent the first three weeks of his life in this hospital. He doesn't know what his room looks like or the sound of his big sissy's voice. He has no idea what it's like to live free of wires and IVs. And I have to think all of these things are coming to him, but we need your prayers.
Please pray that his little heart has had enough time to heal, and that when we turn that medicine off, he continues to function just fine. I know God can work miracles- I am reminded of that every time I look at his handsome face- but I need to call in a seriously big favor here. And I'd love your help.
Thank you in advance. And while you're at it please also pray for peace and comfort for the other families and children here. There are a lot of people waiting on their own little miracle under this roof.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I also can't believe that this pregnancy has gone by this quickly. And being my last (planned) pregnancy that's had me a little weepy too. Basically I'm going to be a blubbering mess on Monday when we get to the hospital. I hope Matt is ready.
On another note, here are a few things I'm looking forward to.
1. The hospital. With Madelyn, once the c-section was over I really quite enjoyed my time at the hospital. I liked the stretchy gauze underwear, being brought pancakes for breakfast, and the adjustable geriatric bed.
2. Hearing Davis cry. There is truly nothing in this world that compares to hearing your baby cry for the first time after they're born. It's the biggest collective sigh of relief you can ever imagine.
3. Madelyn meeting Davis. I'm constantly amazed by how innately nurturing she is and I can't wait to see how she reacts to him. I also can't wait for her to open her present from him in the hospital. He got her a new baby doll with a diaper bag and everything. Only my child could find a way to ship in utero ;)
4. My mom being in town. Everything is easier when mom is in town.
5. Bringing a new baby home. I feel so much differently this time than I did the last. I'm way more excited and far less nervous. I now have a true appreciation for what a gift having a child is that I didn't have before. All I want to do is see his little face and let the lovefest begin.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
1. Yesterday morning I drove through Smoothie King for something to help my sore throat (more on that later) and was greeted by a man at the window saying "You 'bout to bust now, ain't 'ya?!"
"Bust your face!" is what I wanted to say but instead I smiled politely and went on my way.
2. I have a sinus infection and I am nine months pregnant. My sinuses are swelled shut, my ears are plugged, the whole nine. This drove me to purchase a Neti Pot at Walgreens yesterday which accomplished absolutely nothing but taking me firmly out of my comfort zone for about 10 minutes. Pouring things into my sinuses only to watch them fall out the other side, all the while trying not to swallow/choke= not my idea of fun. It's a bummer too because I love a good all-natural remedy and I really wanted it to work. I think unfortunately I'm just too far gone, even for the hippie sinus treatment.
3. I got a new planner in the mail and I love it. I love planners. This alone made me feel better for about 6 minutes, until I was forced to get up and get yet another box of tissues.
4. The neighbor directly across from us has decided he's going to start parking his two ton pickup truck in his front yard, directly blocking the front door to his house. He seems to think this is completely acceptable and ignores the adjacent driveway for no reason whatsoever. I have thought several times about leaving an anonymous note voicing how un-aesthetically pleasing I find this, but judging by the massive amount of junk already in his yard I have a feeling he wouldn't care.
5. Did I mention I'm sick and a tad bit grumpy?
6. But of course, the biggest highlight, is that we get to meet our sweet boy in 11 short days!! Bring on the epidural, bad flourescent lighting, and major discomfort--it will all be worth it when I hear that little guy cry.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Well, yesterday was my favorite day of the year.
It was the day the pumpkin spice candle came out.
And today I woke up to 62 degree weather and news that my beloved pumpkin spice latte is making it's annual debut at Starbucks. I think we all know where I'll be this afternoon.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
My better half will be traveling up to South Carolina for the Clemson game, and though we'll miss him dearly, I know he's excited for some man-time. I keep reminding him that soon enough he won't be outnumbered and the house will be covered in more than just baby dolls and my little ponies.
Here's what I have planned for our girls day. It will be interesting to see how much of this I actually accomplish given that I can guarantee you by 2 p.m. I'll be completely exhausted.
- I plan to clean out the bread machine my grandma sweetly just gave me and try my hand at bread making. I hear this is fairly fool-proof but I don't buy it.
- Plant some sort of flower resilient enough to withstand my black thumb in my one urn that is left from the sofa installation disaster of 2011.
- Make Darby's recipe for curried chicken salad and peanut butter krispies.
- Nap. For as long as possible.
- Take little miss to the library and let her pick out some new books and maybe a movie to watch. Library=air conditioned=good.
- And maybe, just maybe, venture out to Babies R Us for our last remaining baby needs.
This is assuming I haven't passed out by this point and been forced to call in reinforcements. I have a tendency to vastly overestimate what I'm capable of at nearly 37 weeks pregnant. Chances are we'll spend 60% of the day sitting on the floor having picnics with and tending to our baby dolls, and that's ok too :)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Suddenly all that matters is what is happening under your very own roof. You spend hours just staring at this little being in quiet contentment. You feel no need to leave the house (at least I didn't); you rarely check your email or your blackberry; you couldn't care less about what's on sale at Target or which celebrity was just caught shaming their mother in ways no parent should have to witness. You sleep, you feed, you diaper, and suddenly an entire day has gone by. You may wonder, "what did I do all day" because your day wasn't filled with the usual hurried rush of activities and tasks. Instead you are truly just working to sustain this little life- and your own, when you have the time.
I love it. It's my idea of the simple life. A life that emphasizes what truly matters in this world and de-emphasizes the many things we so often take part in that don't matter at all. And I can't wait to do it all over again :)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
When Madelyn was born I was completely overwhelmed. I really couldn't relax and it wasn't pretty. I was so worried about her schedule, her baby acne, feeding our visitors, etc that I was a mess. Not this time though.
This time I will embrace the chaos. I will not try to be perfect, I will set expectations low, and I will go with the flow.
Yes, there are going to be times when everyone is crying and I can't hear myself think. At some point, I am going to leave the house without diapers, or the pacifier, or
This time, I'm just along for the ride. I'm going to soak up every minute with my sweet babies because this is the last time I'll be bringing a newborn home. The last brand new baby that I can just hold and kiss and love. And I seriously and not going to let my dirty socks get in the way of that.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
1. John Wind chunky monogram bracelet- I saw this on a friend recently and it was gorgeous. Love.
2. Pretty patterned blouse for fall. I think this would be so cute with skinnies and boots. Not that I plan to stuff these thighs into skinnies anytime soon...
Bianka Blouse: Casual by ehayes featuring ballet flat shoes
4. This yummy anthropologie candle. When it burns down, you can reuse the mercury glass jar for cotton balls and q-tips!
6. These precious gift labels. You can slap these on a plain brown bag or cellaphane wrapper with a little raffia and suddenly your gift looks perfectly and thoughtfully wrapped. Domestic laziness at it's best. I love it.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
My little nugget is going to be here in five and a half short weeks! And that's assuming he isn't early like his big sissy was. So, I figured it was time for a quick pregnancy update before my fingers get so swollen I can't type.
I have gained 24 pounds so far in this pregnancy which is truly shocking given how much junk food I've eaten. I probably could have gained a lot less but I've really indulged this time. I figure since we aren't planning to have more kids I should eat what I want while I can. Please remind me of this when I'm complaining about losing it afterwards.
I'm starting to swell. I never got swollen with Madelyn because I wasn't pregnant during the hot months, but this time I'm retaining water like it's my job. My wedding ring is getting very snug and I figure at best I have another week left to wear it, at which point I will go buy a cheap fake one so people don't think I'm an knocked up unwed hussy.
I have followed in the footsteps of many other bloggers out there and started a home management notebook, complete with monthly menu plan, cleaning check list, daily to do list, and recipes. I have to say, I'm liking the monthly menu plan. It allows me to make sure we're eating enough of a variety of foods, takes the guess work out of shopping, and overall just satisfies my type-A urges to a T.
I organized all of our flours, sugars, baking goods, etc into pretty mason jars after seeing Christi's kitchen. Now every time I open up the baking cabinet it's uniform and organized. A nester's dream.
I've stopped looking at my butt in the mirror when I get out of the shower because the cellulite started giving me nightmares. Though I still do lunges and squats every.single.night. Even when it feels like Davis is just going to fall right out. It's a sickness.
I feel like I'm living in a perpetual hot flash and Matt thinks I'm trying to freeze him out of the house. Seriously people, if you can avoid it, do not be hugely pregnant in the summer.
I am loving washing all of the clothes and blankets we have for our sweet boy. It is such a huge change to see so much blue in our laundry, but it definitely makes it feel more real, and I can't wait to kiss his sweet cheeks!