Monday, September 26, 2011

a letter to my son


I am writing this letter to let you know that in the short 10 days I've known you, you have shown more strength than most adults exhibit in a lifetime. You are the toughest little boy I have ever known. You have the most amazing disposition and dimples that just melt my heart. I want you to know these things because by the grace of God, you won't remember how you spent your first few weeks of life and for this I'm grateful.

On your sixth day of life we checked into the emergency room because you started running a high fever. And we've spent the last 5 days in the children's hospital as you're treated for what we now know is bacterial meningitis.

You have had more needles in you than I care to think about. You've undergone pain, discomfort, fevers, and what I can only imagine is sheer misery and you've barely even uttered a cry. You smile and you coo. You take it as if you understand why it's all happening as your mommy sits outside the door and cries harder than she ever thought possible. You are stronger than me, of this I'm sure.

We have 9 days left to go in this journey and then we get to go home and start our life together as a family of four. I will treasure every single one of those days through the eyes of a mother who now knows what it's like to truly rely on God to get you from one day to the next. You are not healthy yet but you get a little closer every day and with your spirit I know it's only a matter of time.

You have blessed our lives so greatly in such a small time. You are our little miracle, and I am so grateful that I get to be your mommy.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The last few days

These are the last four days we will EVER be just a family of three. I don't know why but this has been kind of difficult to wrap my brain around and I've been surprisingly sentimental about it. Truth be told, I don't know that any of my behavior could be categorized as surprising at this point given my hormones, but it has really made me sad to think that this is the last time we'll have Madelyn all to ourselves. My time with her is more special to me than I ever anticipated before becoming a parent and I almost can't imagine sharing it between two kids. I imagine this will wear off pretty quickly once Davis gets here :)

I also can't believe that this pregnancy has gone by this quickly. And being my last (planned) pregnancy that's had me a little weepy too. Basically I'm going to be a blubbering mess on Monday when we get to the hospital. I hope Matt is ready.

On another note, here are a few things I'm looking forward to.

1. The hospital. With Madelyn, once the c-section was over I really quite enjoyed my time at the hospital. I liked the stretchy gauze underwear, being brought pancakes for breakfast, and the adjustable geriatric bed.

2. Hearing Davis cry. There is truly nothing in this world that compares to hearing your baby cry for the first time after they're born. It's the biggest collective sigh of relief you can ever imagine.

3. Madelyn meeting Davis. I'm constantly amazed by how innately nurturing she is and I can't wait to see how she reacts to him. I also can't wait for her to open her present from him in the hospital. He got her a new baby doll with a diaper bag and everything. Only my child could find a way to ship in utero ;)

4. My mom being in town. Everything is easier when mom is in town.

5. Bringing a new baby home. I feel so much differently this time than I did the last. I'm way more excited and far less nervous. I now have a true appreciation for what a gift having a child is that I didn't have before. All I want to do is see his little face and let the lovefest begin.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Highlights and Lowlights

A few highlights and lowlights from this week so far...

1. Yesterday morning I drove through Smoothie King for something to help my sore throat (more on that later) and was greeted by a man at the window saying "You 'bout to bust now, ain't 'ya?!"

"Bust your face!" is what I wanted to say but instead I smiled politely and went on my way.

2. I have a sinus infection and I am nine months pregnant. My sinuses are swelled shut, my ears are plugged, the whole nine. This drove me to purchase a Neti Pot at Walgreens yesterday which accomplished absolutely nothing but taking me firmly out of my comfort zone for about 10 minutes. Pouring things into my sinuses only to watch them fall out the other side, all the while trying not to swallow/choke= not my idea of fun. It's a bummer too because I love a good all-natural remedy and I really wanted it to work. I think unfortunately I'm just too far gone, even for the hippie sinus treatment.

3. I got a new planner in the mail and I love it. I love planners. This alone made me feel better for about 6 minutes, until I was forced to get up and get yet another box of tissues.

4. The neighbor directly across from us has decided he's going to start parking his two ton pickup truck in his front yard, directly blocking the front door to his house. He seems to think this is completely acceptable and ignores the adjacent driveway for no reason whatsoever. I have thought several times about leaving an anonymous note voicing how un-aesthetically pleasing I find this, but judging by the massive amount of junk already in his yard I have a feeling he wouldn't care.

5. Did I mention I'm sick and a tad bit grumpy?

6. But of course, the biggest highlight, is that we get to meet our sweet boy in 11 short days!! Bring on the epidural, bad flourescent lighting, and major discomfort--it will all be worth it when I hear that little guy cry.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The best day of the year

Kristin's husband Matt said in college once, back in his semi-single days, that his favorite day of the year was the day the sundresses came out. Now, Matt's been known to drop a good one-liner every now and then, but this just makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Well, yesterday was my favorite day of the year.

It was the day the pumpkin spice candle came out.

And today I woke up to 62 degree weather and news that my beloved pumpkin spice latte is making it's annual debut at Starbucks. I think we all know where I'll be this afternoon.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Girl's Day

This Saturday I get to spend the entire day, uninterrupted, with this little nugget. We plan to ring in the start of football season (can I get an Amen?!) with lots of girly activities and a little game watching sprinkled in. My, or rather Our, beloved Gators don't play until 7 p.m. which means I'll be watching the majority of that game alone while little miss sleeps. But I plan to make homemade popcorn, curl up on the couch, and cheer my little heart out.

My better half will be traveling up to South Carolina for the Clemson game, and though we'll miss him dearly, I know he's excited for some man-time. I keep reminding him that soon enough he won't be outnumbered and the house will be covered in more than just baby dolls and my little ponies.

Here's what I have planned for our girls day. It will be interesting to see how much of this I actually accomplish given that I can guarantee you by 2 p.m. I'll be completely exhausted.

- I plan to clean out the bread machine my grandma sweetly just gave me and try my hand at bread making. I hear this is fairly fool-proof but I don't buy it.

- Plant some sort of flower resilient enough to withstand my black thumb in my one urn that is left from the sofa installation disaster of 2011.

- Make Darby's recipe for curried chicken salad and peanut butter krispies.

- Nap. For as long as possible.

- Take little miss to the library and let her pick out some new books and maybe a movie to watch. Library=air conditioned=good.

- And maybe, just maybe, venture out to Babies R Us for our last remaining baby needs.

This is assuming I haven't passed out by this point and been forced to call in reinforcements. I have a tendency to vastly overestimate what I'm capable of at nearly 37 weeks pregnant. Chances are we'll spend 60% of the day sitting on the floor having picnics with and tending to our baby dolls, and that's ok too :)
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