Monday, October 25, 2010

Confessions

I have eaten waaay too many candy corn in the past week, the actual number of which I will never publicly disclose.

I spent all day on Saturday at the Clemson football game without my hubby and without my little angel and I had so much fun. Really, it was a great day. Gorgeous weather, tons of food, and great time with friends. Including our friend's adopted 10 month old daughter Gracyn who I really did not want to put down. Go figure, I get a break from mommy duties and all I want to do is hold a baby.

I have a sink full of dirty dishes and floors that need sweeping but I'm sitting on the computer and watching Dancing With the Stars. And after I see Audrina and Jennifer Grey I plan to catch up on some magazines. This is about as rebellious as I get these days.

I'm not sure when it happened , but I am completely obsessed with Madelyn. I wasn't one of those parents who felt a tsunami surge of emotion after birth and lost all sense of reality. I knew I loved her but my feelings manifested themself in gradual, more subtle ways. Like, I couldn't stop looking at her. And I was stressed out maniac trying to make sure she was constantly ok. Normal first time parent behavior, but to me, affirmation that I felt connected to her.
Over time my love grew and grew for her and now I've turned into a big gooey puddle of Madleyn love and every.little.thing. she does just melts my heart into a million pieces. Seriously. I've become one of those moms. And in the midst of my love-struck fever I've decided that all I want is to move to a farm and have a whole litter of babies that can just crawl all over me all day long. I'm kidding, though I really do have daydreams about this. I'm confident the urge will pass. But please don't tell my husband--he scares easily.

2 comments:

Kristin said...

Have you tried the candy corn kisses? I've heard they are good.

Jenn said...

I so totally get what you're saying. I wasn't one of these moms that immediately looked at my newborn gremlin and just fell in love. I would stare at her in a bouncy seat or co-sleeper and look at her lovingly/but also with the intention that 'the more I stare at you, the more I will be able to pick you out of a lineup should I ever need to decifer my kid among 10 other 7 pound 3 oz creatures'


But like you, I'm slightly obsessed with her now. I want to eat her face....and sometimes i do, when candy corn is not available. xox Jenn

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