First of all, I am loving my temporary life as a stay at home mom. On Friday I went up to a friend's house (who is also a stay at home mom) for our weekly "Breakfast Club" gathering where we chat and the kids play together. Then we went out to a cute cafe for lunch, ran to Target, and wrapped up the evening with an outdoor gathering at the same friend's house. Just a typical Friday for someone who doesn't work. It's fun. I like it.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job. I do want to keep working because I would never be silly enough to give up my job. It's flexible, I'm well compensated with excellent benefits, I absolutely adore my bosses, I get to travel all over the world, for the most part it's low-stress- it's the perfect job for me. My hesitation comes when I think about someone else being with Madelyn every day- feeding her, playing with her, listening to her coo's and gurgles, teaching her things, making sure she's comfortable and happy- all of the things that I love doing now, and all of the things I know that no one can do as well as I can. I'm crying now just thinking about it. I will continue to work because my job is stable, and like I said, I wouldn't give it up. BUT, if the opportunity to stay home or work part time ever presented itself at some point in the future, I can't say I wouldn't consider it. I know everyone says it will get easier and I hope with all of my heart that is true. I feel so lucky to have had my mom home with us when we were little, and I know she treasures those memories. I'll just continue to take advantage of the next 6 weeks I get to spend uninterrupted with Madelyn and mentally prepare myself for my inevitable return to the working world. Pray for me- I'm going to need it.