Packing simplified

Now, before you judge, I swear I do not have a compulsive organizing disorder. It just so happens that I find comfort in the orderly. And in the midst of the absolute chaos that has been the past four weeks of our life, I had to do something to harness my anxiety.

So this past week my mom called and asked if she could steal Madelyn away for a few days before all of the Thanksgiving craziness began. She lives in Florida but it just so happened my aunt was heading down and said she could take Madelyn with her, so we said ok.

Of course, with impeccable timing, one of the bloggers I follow on Instagram was posting pictures of this amazing idea she used to pack her kids for their vacation. So I copied. It is the highest form of flattery, no?

Each gallon ziploc bag has a full outfit with coordinating hair accessory, panties, and socks where applicable. There is a separate bag for jammies and other misc. accessories. As you can see, hot trends for this winter include pink, leopard print, and Tangled panties.

I wanted Madelyn to be able to pick out her outfit each day, and my mom to have an easy time seeing what was in there. And for me, I got to stand back and admire each outfit- neatly folded and happily compartmentalized.

Now if I could just find bags big enough to hold my clothes...

Life lately

Life lately has taken precedence over blogging, and at this point it's all I can do to keep my head above water so apologies for the lack of posts (I'm talking to you Mom and Aunt Sue).

As the transition into daycare has eased from an emotional standpoint, Davis' poor immune system is still adjusting to the onslaught of daily germs and has been pretty sick with strep throat since this past Thursday, running as high as a 103.8 fever (and greying his mother's hair by the second.) His mother, apparently still still also adjusting to a toddler-like immune system has a double ear infection. We visited four doctors in three days because then I had a skin reaction to the antibiotics. I'm totally fine, D is on the mend, and I'm somewhat grateful I can't take any more meds because it was making me feel negligent when I'd take them with a glass of red. Now I can enjoy my wine guilt free.

We also received amazing news from his cardiologist today that we can drop another one of his meds which leaves just ONE that he has to take daily. His heart looks fantastic, function is great, and we are overjoyed.

My work is particularly demanding right now as I prepare for a trip to Barcelona to help with a very large and very difficult five day meeting. I'm basically working every night once the kids are down until I go to sleep....and I wonder why I'm sick...

I am excited for Thanksgiving, but even more excited for Christmas because I am planning to really unplug. I joked with my boss that for those last two weeks of the year I was going "off the grid" and that I wouldn't be reachable by cell or otherwise. I said it jokingly, but it's awfully tempting.

I have tons of fun projects I hope I get around to sharing eventually- lately I've found comfort in crafting and organizing and while I've successfully convinced my sister I have a serious disorder, I'm ok with that. She's probably right.

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe, and healthy holiday!!!

Please keep those families in your prayers who may be spending theirs in the hospital. I never stop thinking about them.

Being a mom is hard

Being a mom is hard

Like, really hard. The people that tell you that, your mother who often reminded you of that- they weren't lying. It's actually really fascinating how you can feel such emotion for someone that isn't you.

And it's hard for reasons you don't expect. It's not just the sleep deprivation, or the semi-loss of a social life, or the inability to leave the house in something that's not dirty or wrinkled. It's hard because of the worry. Because when you have to let go a little you can actually feel your heart break. But really because of the worry.

Yesterday I took my sweet little miracle boy to daycare and it has not gone as I would have hoped. He's scared, he doesn't know anyone or understand why his mommy is leaving him in this loud, scary place. He cries a lot. He won't really sleep and barely eats—and nothing is more uncharacteristic of Davis than not eating. When I picked him up yesterday his face was red and swollen and I could not squeeze him fast enough.

And today when I left he cried and cried as a stranger tried to calm him down and his mommy walked out the door. And I came home and cried and cried because my poor baby thinks I abandoned him and he doesn't feel safe, or comforted, or understand at all why he is at this weird place.

I know it sounds ridiculous. People take their children to daycare every day, he just needs to get used to it, he is safe and he will be fine. I get it.

But he's not just another baby. He's my baby. And when he is upset, I am upset. And I feel like I've failed him. And that is why being a mom is hard.

You have to make hard decisions, and sacrifices, and it isn't always fair. In the midst of that, you have to feel emotions that you can't comprehend or even control most of the time. You doubt yourself constantly and there is nothing you can do about it. And some days it's just hard, and there's nothing you can do about that either.

That really happened

So, I guess I'm a cliché now. I'm the mom who took care of everyone but herself and embarrassingly ended up in the ER this past Saturday for dehydration. I like to think of it more as exhaustion like the celebs say, but you can call it what you like.
Remember the neck spasm? And Madelyn's four day viral bonanza of excretions? Well, I got that virus. I'll spare you the details, but I never actually got sick, I was just so nauseous I laid in the fetal position for a few days and barely ate or drank anything. Like, anything. I had three crackers and a Gatorade all day Friday. I was busy taking care of the kids, I felt like crap, and the last thing I wanted to do was eat or drink.
Cut to Saturday night when I got really weak and tired and then started shaking uncontrollably for about an hour. My sweet husband that I'm quite sure I scared to death took me to the hospital and luckily, they saw me right away since my heart rate was high. After a nice big bag of fluids, some anti-nausea meds, and potassium (mine was low) they sent me home. They also kindly confirmed that I am not, in fact, pregnant, which I informed them would have been a massive failure of the pharmaceutical industry.
It took five days in total, but Tuesday I felt Amazing. I had so much energy, I was thrilled to be working, I wasn't the least bit nauseous. And from now on I'm going to be that girl that walks around everywhere with her big bottle of Smartwater.
It has been a bit of a wake up call for me, for sure. I can't be a good mom to the kids if I don't make time for myself. It seems logical but it's easier said than done, though I can see now, absolutely necessary.
So, to close, I think we've learned a few valuable lessons: you may be a mom, and you may be insanely busy, but you are important and your kids will really miss you if you have to spend your days in bed sick and dehydrated. So eat and drink on a regular basis, please. Oh and also, I could never be anorexic. Like, ever.

Is it Friday yet?

This has been a week. And it's only been 5 days since I started counting. Here is a brief recap of what's been going on at casa Marden.

**I had a bad neck spasm (I am secretly 67 years old)- spent a day in bed and the past four in a neck brace


**Madelyn fought a four day stomach bug, including her first several bouts with vomiting which is just terrible. This same virus also prompted a visit to the doctor as she became limp and listless from dehydration. We're going through a lot of Gatorade and crackers up in here.

**I had to move the trash can from the kitchen out to the garage because my insatiable son opens it and eats food out of it every time I turn my back.

**The kids pulled the drapes down from Davis' wall. Apparently they were in the way of their chase game.

**I woke up at 2:15 in the morning with a ROACH ON MY FACE. I swear I could have handled a python on my face better than that. I now sleep with the sheet pulled up right under my nose. Seriously. ON.MY.FACE.

In these times, when we don't feel well, and are literally in survival mode:

**I'm grateful for amazing health insurance and the fact that I don't have to worry about how I'm going to take care of my family when we aren't well

**I'm grateful for a son who is getting so big and is so healthy he literally cannot eat enough, and for a husband who effortlessly takes care of everything when I need to rest

**I'm grateful that Madelyn and Davis love to chase either. Their giggles and shrieks are my favorite sounds of the day.

**And in regards to the roach, there isn't really any redeeming factor there, except for the nice young pest control man who thoroughly treated our home yesterday and I'm quite sure is forever scarred by my story. As am I. Eww.

This week's menu

I am a meticulous menu planner. I sit down every Saturday or Sunday, plan the week, and make one trip to the store to cover everything. It's the only way we stay out of the Chick-fil-a drive through which we still admittedly end up visiting several times a month.

I thought I'd make a weekly effort to share what we're having in hopes it helps inspire you as well.

Bon Apetite!

Recipes: Greek turkey burgers/Buffalo chicken lettuce wraps

The rest are my own recipes, but if you'd like them let me know and I'll share :)

I should know better

I've been that mom bragging about my perfect children who will eat anything (anything!) for quite some time now and this, this is what I get for all that bragging.

See the below email sent to the BFF yesterday:


note: "try" should ready "tray"

 My sweet little boy, the one for whom I made copious amounts of homemade baby food. The one who ate plain steamed zucchini and broccoli like there was no tomorrow. You know, the organic zucchini I bought from our local farmer's market from a real farmer, not that I was being smug about it.

Well, those days are gone. I'm sure it's a phase like everything else, and I suppose it serves me right. But come on, dude, help your mama out. My mom pride takes a serious hit every time you throw the veggies.