Sunday, October 20, 2013

Heart Change

A few years ago, one year ago even, I would have sworn all I wanted was to move to a new house. I (we) really needed more space, a bigger kitchen, the better school, something newer than this 1982 house that was merely a place I was stuck in as a side effect of the housing market crisis.

It was unnerving. We had our house listed for two years with only a handful of showings. We knew where we wanted to move- we even had a floor plan picked out for our new build. I had a plan. 

I had a plan, and I could not understand why things weren't going my way.

Here we are now and I've spent the last year praying, really praying, about God's will for our family. And somehow, somewhere along the way, something changed. My heart changed.

We got more involved in our church and started to build a community. We put Madelyn in soccer and made new friends. We continued to work on the house with not one room left untouched. I started to notice the charm in this small town- the little farmer's market on the corner, the way they decorate the town square every holiday, the lake with the walking path and huge playground. The quiet. Our big yard with gorgeous old trees that literally rain leaves in the fall. And suddenly, I feel like this is exactly where we're supposed to be. Where we were supposed to be all along. And I'm grateful my plan didn't work out. 

I don't think it was financially the right time for us to move, but we would have done it anyway. I don't think the place we were moving to was right for us, but we would have built that new house with no hesitation. Because I was so convinced I knew what was right for our family.

I'm grateful for heart change. I'm grateful that I was wrong, and we were saved from a string of poor decisions. It's been humbling, for sure. But the way I feel content, settled, and happy here, is an incredible blessing that far outweighs the damage to my ego. 

This house is all we need. And honestly, the older I get, somehow the less I want. Would I like a larger kitchen? Absolutely. And seriously, I'd pay ten fold for an extra guest bedroom. But I know we'll have those things one day. When it's the right time, and we know it's the right thing for our family, we will.

And when we do, it will be all the much sweeter. 


Kristin said...

P.S. I am glad you didn't build that stupid house because then you'd be even further from me. Totally selfish. :)

claire @ a peachtree city life said...

i love this. as you heard in my rambling story, i've had plenty of thoughts about not liking where i was or the role i was in - it's refreshing to be able to escape that mental space and be content. so glad you all are finding the silver lining.

and also selfishly glad you didn't move, because i am so excited to be getting to know you all better :))

Kristin said...

Randomly reading your blog while I pump... just wanted to remind you of this post. :)

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