Living the Good Life

thirty

2012-01-23T21:38:00.001-05:00

After officially celebrating my thirtieth birthday this past Wednesday I realized...

I am 30 years old and I literally have everything I ever wanted. How lucky am I? Who does that happen to?!

I have a husband who loves me even though I can drive him absolutely bananas. Two beautiful children who make my heart flutter at every glance. A house we've worked hard to make a home. And a job that I adore.

I have parents who love and support me. Friends that I swear I will take to my death bed. And more than that, I feel like I really know who I am now.

I'm proud of the fact that I can speak my mind and that I'm not afraid of confrontation. I'm proud that I've lost the baby weight. Twice. And that I can wear tight black leggings without being completely ashamed of myself.

This year I want to give back to the people who have given so much of themselves to me- especially while we were in the hospital. I want to be a more attentive wife, a more present friend, and a more engaged mother. I want to spend more time writing handwritten notes and reading books and less time wasting time.

My twenties were really good to me (exhibit A). But my thirties are going to be even better. I can feel it.

So what happens after all of your dreams come true? I guess I'm about to find out :)

A conversation with my daughter

2012-01-12T09:58:00.003-05:00

The other night Madelyn and I were enjoying a rare dinner alone while the boys played upstairs so I thought I'd take the opportunity to find out what she's up to at daycare these days. You can hardly imagine how hard I had to fight back the laughter when the below conversation ensued. By the way, she is two.

Me (a mother who is trying to raise a gracious, polite daughter): So what did you guys do at school today?
Aforementioned daughter: Nathan went to time out because he said "oh shit"

Me: Oh really? You know we don't say that word, right?
Madelyn: We don't say "oh shit" mommy?

Me: No, sweetie, we can say "uh oh" or "oopsie" instead
Madelyn: Only boys say "oh shit" mommy?

Me: No Madelyn, not boys and not girls, nobody says that
Madelyn: Ok mommy, I won't say "oh shit"

End scene.

My girls never disappoint

2012-01-09T20:42:00.002-05:00

Earlier today I sent the below email to my three closest girlfriends and within 16 minutes (16!) they had all responded saying they were in.

My girls never disappoint.

K, D, and M

As we know I am about to turn 30 in a few weeks.

I am the mother of TWO children. I spend my evenings washing bottles and clipping coupons in a suburban town with only a new Longhorn Steakhouse to offer for outside entertainment. While I truly wouldn't trade any of it for the world, it's time this mama takes a break and gets back to her bourbon and sprite drinking roots. You know the ones I'm talking about.

My dad has graciously offered me up a trip to NEW YORK for my birthday. Currently just my mom and I are going but I would LOVE for ya'll to join if you can. I know life is crazy and we are grown ups with jobs and bills and babies (hi sweet Kate!), but it wouldn't be the same without you there.

My flights are booked. I'm going up on Sunday, April 22 and flying back Wednesday, April 25. We are going to stay at a hotel on the south-end of the city by my sister, hopefully all in one room :)

Currently on the agenda: long brunches with lots of mimosas, shopping (only to be interrupted by a stop in a bar for a glass of wine or champagne), possibly a Broadway show, guacamole at Dos Caminos, bloody marys at the Boathouse, and other generally girly activities.

Let me know if you are interested!
Jenn

The return to work

2012-01-03T20:05:00.004-05:00

Today was my last day of maternity leave so I spent as much time as possible snuggling with this guy.

I don't have time to write, of course, because I'm too busy having panic attacks/crying my eyes out/counting down until I get home tomorrow evening/ and praising myself for not being too dramatic.

Right.

But seriously, it will be the first time I've been away from these thighs for more than a few hours. I think we'd all agree that's worth a few tears.

And that smile. Oh, that smile.

(Get a grip, Mom. I'll be fine.)

The things we'll never understand

2011-12-30T11:44:00.003-05:00

There are things that happen in this world that I will never ever understand. Things that I can't comprehend, things that just don't feel like they should happen in a world where God is present everyday.

I felt this way when we were in the hospital. As a self proclaimed control freak, existing in a new reality that gave me no say whatsoever was a rude awakening. I felt betrayed and wondered how on earth this was happening to us. When actually, my lack of control should have given me some solace.

Recently I've heard of two other babies in the hospital, the stories of which immediately brought tears to my eyes. I know what those parents were feeling and the mere remembrance of those emotions cause a physical reaction in me that I truly cannot control.

A very sweet sorority sister (also fellow high school volleyball player and fellow blogger) lost her brand new baby boy Reid this month. She said many prayers for Davis when we needed them and as they struggled to sustain Reid's life I prayed constantly. When I then heard of his passing I felt hopeless, like all of our prayers were for naught.

Last night we found out that an acquaintance of ours (and Matt's best friend's cousin) is in the hospital with their little girl who has spinal meningitis and is currently in a medically-induced coma. We don't have any additional details but again, we find ourselves in constant prayer. Knowing of their situation, which bears such similarity to our own, caused me to cry everytime I looked at Davis last night. I cried for the days we spent in sheer agony and for every day we've spent at home since. But mostly I cried out of desperation and for a lack of ability to explain why these things happen.

I suppose it's in these times we should lean on God the most that sometimes cause us to turn away. I know miracles happen. It is the only explanation for why I get to rock my sweet boy in his room everyday, but it is very difficult for me to understand why everyone doesn't get to be as lucky as us, and it makes me feel extremely guilty for this amazing gift we've been given.

When I was in the hospital three different friends send me the lyrics to this song called "Blessings" by Laura Story. I found it awfully ironic that three separate people would suggest the exact same song to me, but looking back on it I understand why. Here are the words. If you are hoping for a miracle for someone else, waiting on one of your own, or just trying to make sense out of this world, I hope this helps.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family,
protection while we sleep

We pray for healing,
for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while,
You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness,
we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heartThat this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nightsAre what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Merry Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T08:00:00.000-05:00

Wishing you the merriest of holidays and a wonderful 2012!

Milestones

2011-12-22T12:24:00.003-05:00

Our family hit a few important milestones this week that I thought were worth sharing. Behold Marden family accomplishments, December 2011 edition.

1. Davis is rolling over! Just 4 days after his 3 month birthday my little love bug decided he wanted to move and he's barely stopped since, begging the need for his new nick name, roly poly. Given his new fascination with movement we've had to stop swaddling him which has lead to a few sleepless nights, but Moms on Call assures me that after three nights he'll get used to being unswaddled and we'll go back to sleeping normally. Tonight is the third night--fingers crossed.

2. Madelyn is almost completely (afraid to say it for fear I may jinx myself) potty trained! Alert the media, cue the harps, and let's all cheer for having one diaperless child! We've been slowly (very slowly) working with her on it since the end of the summer because we've known for quite some time she was smart enough to understand, but as I'm leaning, she is a child who will do things on her time, when she is ready. And it appears she was ready to give mommy an early Christmas present, that sweet girl. I say almost potty trained because she's still in pull ups at night and has yet to go in a public restroom, but we'll get there.

(p.s. I love Davis' face in this picture. He is clearly excited about cuddling with his big sissy)

3. For the first year on record I had all of my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving and even got little teacher gifts for Madelyn's daycare together way before the week of Christmas. I'd like to thank the following parties for making this possible: Amazon.com, Potterybarn.com, and my company, for allowing me two extra weeks of maternity leave and the ability to be home during this busy time of year. Yay for shopping online at home in yoga pants. Oh, and thanks to Minted and Erin Condren for our cute gift labels.

Hope you all have a safe and wonderful Christmas holiday!!

Christmas traditions

2011-12-19T06:23:00.007-05:00

Having children seems to fuel you with this urge to infuse Christmas with as many personal family traditions as possible. It suddenly feels increasingly important to add meaning to these days that otherwise pass so quickly and to give your children a little piece of you to remember forever.

I have been wanting to start some family traditions of our own but given my general lack of creativity have found more inspiration from Pinterest and other blogs than from my own creation. I figure, no need to reinvent the wheel. So, in an effort to share with other creatively-challenged folks out there, I thought I'd share.

First, we've decided going forward that we'll wrap all of our Christmas books and leave them under the tree, then each evening the kids can open one to read before bed. After Christmas, all of the books will go up in the attic with the other seasonal decorations until next year so they'll be fresh and new all over again. This fun idea (and below image) was courtesy of Meredith over at the Tichenor Family.

Second, we've begun a relationship with our Elf on the Shelf that Madelyn lovingly named "Smileyface." Admittedly not my first choice for our Elf's moniker, but I suppose it's not my game :) So far, Smiley is proving to be an excellent bargaining chip against disobedient behavior which makes mama happy.

Third, we will celebrate Christmas Eve every year with a Mexican fiesta. To me, there is no better way to embrace our savior's birth than a copious variety of dishes covered in melted cheese. Can I get an Amen?

And lastly, from Nina, each year we will all get a new pair of Christmas jammies to wear on Christmas Eve and while opening presents the following morning. This really appeals to my cheesy need for coordinated family photos during which I can assure you both children will be looking in different directions. Cute jammies do not perfect photos make, but everytime we wear them we'll remember our Christmas together and that's priceless.

Things I'm happy to sacrifice

2011-12-14T13:06:00.004-05:00

Everyone tells you that being a parent is the most selfless thing you'll ever do, but like everything else, you never really get it until it happens to you. Honestly, it's hard to even know what it means to be selfless until you are a parent. And I'd wager that what it means to you is vastly different pre and post children.

When we had Madelyn our life didn't really change. Sure we lost some sleep and the ability to travel without 19 suitcases and a monstrous SUV, but we still traveled. We could both easily take off for an afternoon to have some alone time because managing one kiddo is relatively easy...especially, you realize, once you have two.

With Davis things are very very different. Though he looks healthy, happy, and thriving, he is still a 13 week old baby with a heart condition. And this has taken the meaning of selfless sacrifice to a whole new level.

We have very little social life because our sweet boy isn't supposed to be around a lot of people, especially children who could potentially be sick. We've forgone holiday parties, playdates, and even church for his safety (and per doctor's orders). What this usually means is that Matt and Madelyn attend all of the fun things and me and little D stay home. This is actually ok with me-knowing that this is our last baby I want to soak up all of his sweetness as long as I can- and it certainly isn't fair that Madelyn suffer because of her brother's health obstacles.

We don't eat out. We used to love to go out for Mexican or hit up a burger joint on a Saturday night, now we stick to once-a-week Chick-Fil-A drive through that we can bring home. I can't just throw him in the car and run up to the grocery store or Target because those are the other venues the doctors would prefer he avoid. It's just too risky to have him in those environments, especially during this time of year.

Once we were sure of Davis' diagnosis we knew our life would truly never be the same. He can't attend daycare due to the dangers of illness so we've hired a nanny to stay home with him while I work. This is obviously an unplanned financial burden but one we're happy to take on, given that it means we are home with him and the alternative would be waiting for a heart transplant in the hospital. We've completely given up our peace of mind. We can't ever fully relax and assume he is "ok" because we just don't know.

His sweet sister can't even kiss her own brother for fear of what she might be carrying, so she sweetly kisses his toes and his head until we *hopefully* find out, some time down the road, that he's fully recovered.

I'm not saying these things to complain, in fact quite the opposite. It's amazing what you can give up without even a second thought for the sake of your children. Sure I'd love to take Davis out to eat or to a Christmas party where I can show him off to everyone we know--part of the joy of having children is being able to share them with people-but I know right now my selfish wants have to take a backseat to his well being and I am 100% ok with that. I thank God every day for my two little monkeys, and if it means I have to drink my wine at home with Matt instead of in a fancy restaurant, that is fine with me.

I will be grateful

2011-12-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

I will be grateful that our neighbors painted their house and not complain that they chose a shade of mint green only appropriate for South Beach and nursing homes.

I will be grateful that I have a wonderful supportive job and not bitter that I have to leave my babies four days a week.

I will be grateful that my sweet husband does the dishes, makes the bed, and throws in laundry and not complain when he doesn't do it the way I want.

I will be grateful that my body has successfully given me two incredible children and not complain about the saggy parts.

I will be grateful that we have a roof over our heads even if it may not be the one we want.

I will be grateful when Madelyn is disobedient because it means she has a strong will and thriving spirit...and she always apologizes afterwards.

I will be grateful for every busy, chaotic day because it means I have a family to take care of and people who depend on me. And if I wasn't busy it would mean I was all alone.

image from here

What we've been up to

2011-12-05T16:00:00.000-05:00

Baking delicious homemade granola

Setting up our Christmas tree

Playing Santa's workshop while the kiddos nap

Singing jingle bells and practicing smiles

Experimenting with our hair. (Disclaimer: this was for "crazy hair day" at school though I can't lie and say we don't sometimes do this for cheap thrills)

Staying in our jammies and snuggling all day. It's heaven.

28 days in the hospital

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

I've wanted to write a full account of our month in the hospital for quite some time but haven't felt emotionally ready to relive each and every life-sucking detail all over again. But considering the general deterioration of my brain since leaving work and increasing inability to remember anything, I figure if I don't do it now it may never be done. So here goes.

Davis was due to be born September 19th at 39 weeks via scheduled c-section. The Friday prior I awoke with debilitating pain in my abdomen. Given the close proximity to my due date we raced to the hospital and spent the day running every possible test without any conclusive results. The pain escalated to where I couldn't sit or walk without crying, yet the doctors had no clue what was wrong so they decided to go ahead and get Davis out for fear of really, the unknown. We now know that Davis somehow contracted the enterovirus from me while in utero and my body was essentially rejecting him. My immune system had sent all of my antibodies to the abdomen to fight the infection, my sweet son. Once he came out the pain was completely gone but we still didn't understand why.

At birth he was born with a fever and further testing came back with a positive but unidentifiable blood culture and low white blood cell count. Nothing that appeared too serious, so we went home.

Two days later I felt like he was overly sleepy but wasn't concerned until around 7 p.m. when he spiked a fever of 101. Within literally four minutes we had packed our bags and were on our way to the ER.

Because of his age (6 days) and his fever the ER doctor insisted upon three tests- a blood draw, a urinalysis, and a spinal tap, to which I literally told him he was out of his mind. Long emotional story short, we did them all. And I sat in the hallway outside his door listening to him scream for what felt like years as I truly cried harder than I have ever cried in my entire life. How could you do a spinal tap on a 6 day old? MY 6 day old? It was truly horrifying.

Good thing we did though, because his spinal fluid showed what appeared to be meningitis. We boarded the ambulance to the in-town children's hospital and arrived there at appx. 3 a.m. to begin a new battery of tests. After a few days we came to the conclusion that he had bacterial meningitis. At the time this was the scariest possible thing I could imagine as it meant 14 days of extremely strong antibiotics that could potentially damage his hearing and 14 days in the hospital.

A week later additional tests came back informing us that he had enterovirus. We met with infectious disease specialists, doctor after doctor after doctor, and decided to continue on our current course of treatment for fear that if he also had bacterial meningitis, we didn't want it to go untreated.

Those first few days we had a difficult time regulating his temperature. One night I'd be wiping him down with cold rags as he burned up with a raging fever, the next his temp would plummet and we'd be putting warm compresses in his swaddle. He also had several IVs through which the drugs were administered and eventually a PIC line in his arm and then later two CVLs, surgically inserted IVs that went directly into large veins. Each increasingly scary and each presented their own individual challenges and fears. It turns out Davis has very visible but extremely small, weak veins, and drawing blood or inserting an IV is both difficult (nearly impossible) and painful. The last blood draw before we left they actually had to draw from a vein in his head. Night-mare.

A few days after the entervirus diagnosis a doctor noticed Davis breathing faster than normal and we were whisked off to ICU after an echocardiogram revealed that the virus was attacking his heart. His little heart was enlarged, one of the valves was leaking, and it wasn't pumping efficiently. We spent a few days in pediatric ICU during which he was given drugs to help his heart pump, human antibodies to help his heart heal, and at one point a blood transfusion because of anemia and low blood count. We had to monitor his urine output to make sure his kidneys were receiving enough blood to function and watch for any change in his behavior that may signal his brain wasn't receiving enough blood.

After a few days he began to show improvement and we moved down to the cardiac stepdown unit where we figured we'd finish out his antibiotics and go home. Except that the day we thought we'd be told we were going home soon, a follow up echo confirmed my worst fears- his heart was getting worse, not better.

For the second time we left for ICU, this time the cardiac ICU which was a completely different environment. I wasn't allowed to stay with him, or breastfeed (so I pumped), visitors were limited, and conversation turned from being cautiously optimisted to talk of a possible heart transplant if this course of meds didn't work. This was by far the low point in our journey. We felt absolutely hopeless, bewildered, and scared to death. I couldn't eat and I barely slept. There were days I did nothing but cry.

48 hours later we were back in the stepdown unit, waiting and waiting and waiting to see if this time his heart would be able to function on its own. And if you've been reading this for long, you know, it did :)

In fact, his heart performed so well it shocked all of the doctors. His last echocardiogram actually almost appeared normal, a possibility none of us had ever considered. And with that, we were released. Of course, not without a myriad of daily maintenance medicines and immediate follow up appointments with the local cardiologist.

For 28 days I slept in his room by his side all but two nights, one of which I was literally kicked out. My mom stayed by my side every single day and went home at night where Matt was taking care of Madelyn. Wonderful friends brought us dinner (Kristin and Matt even snuck in a few beers much to the chagrin of my rule-abiding nurse), pastors visited, people we'd never even met brought us gifts to the hospital. It was an awe-inspiring experience and we're still moved thinking about it today. People all over the country were praying for our little guy and we truly felt it. I know people were praying for me too. Even though I think I probably seemed ok on the outside I was literally having a nervous breakdown on the inside. Then a few days before our release I had a complete change of heart- I realized that if he had to have a heart transplant than that was ok. He was worth every day we would spend in that hospital, and I wouldn't want anyone else in the world to be his mommy, so I better suck it up and deal.

I think one of the greatest blessings is that he was so small he won't remember any of the experience. He won't recall the excrutiating pain he encountered, the wires and monitors, or the smell of the hospital. I on the other hand, will never forget. Emotional drama aside, what it did provide us was 28 days of uninterrupted time together. I held him for 28 straight days in that hospital- praying, singing, crying, and hoping for an absolute miracle. And all I can say is I must be on God's good side because I got one.

Thanksgiving- Gumkowski style

2011-11-30T14:13:00.010-05:00

Just wanted to share a few pictures from our Thanksgiving celebration last week. It was a full on Gumkowski holiday (i.e. my mom's entire side of the family was present). Bet you've never heard that last name before. I think it goes without saying that mom was more than happy to take on the last name Green when she married my dad.

Anyways, it was a super fun holiday. A little hectic with two kids, 50 people in attendance, and house guests, but totally worth it. Let's just say mom and I completely forgot to cook the one side dish we were in charge of bringing. Literally completely forgot. And a family holiday is not complete without our corn casserole, but thankfully that means I get to cook it for us this week and we can eat it all ourselves!

Without further adieu, our holiday in pictures.

Here's the whole group after our big meal in my Aunt Donna's backyard. Please disregard the white bottle of RoundUp in the front of the picture. Professional photographers we are not (although I just noticed that there is a tripod on this shot that we aren't using. Strange.)

The boys posing with their cigars. Apparently every family holiday must involve cigars....

And shots. Shots! Who does shots on Thanksgiving?! Not I. But I did enjoy watching.

Mom and her girls (and baby D) (side note: thank you Banana Republic for producing this amply flowy top which allowed me not only to conceal remaining baby poundage but extraneous sweet potato casserole and pecan pie. I am eternally grateful.)

Grandma and Grandpa pre-shots (this is kind of false advertising because Grandma didn't actually do one.)

Southern holiday requirement: corn hole. No prior experience necessary.

It also helps to have a bouncy house present for the children. It's like a large plastic babysitter.

Onlookers. And yes, my Aunt lives in the middle of nowhere. There are actual hay bales across the street. My sister from NYC couldn't believe when a man rode by on a tractor. It was her equivalent to watching Little House on the Prairie.

Me and said sister in the requisite front porch shot.

And a few cuddles with Gigi and the kiddos before leaving town. If you can't tell in the Dora princess dress and cheesy grin, Madelyn has become quite a little ham.

All in all it was a truly wonderful weekend. Now on to Christmas!

My loves

2011-11-27T21:44:00.002-05:00

Thank you JennyLaurenPhotography for this incredible picture of our family! We've never looked better. And neither has our yard. Your talent amazes me :)

Nanny search 2011

2011-11-22T09:45:00.000-05:00

An open letter to the sweet women who post their availability to nanny my child on a very popular website that shall remain nameless...

Dear potential caretaker of my precious child,

Thank you for posting your profile to this website in hopes that you might be the right fit for our family. Before we meet for coffee to discuss your qualifications, hobbies, and past ~~criminal~~ history, I'd like to further refine what I'm looking for in our family nanny.

To begin, if your profile picture portrays you as a potential drug dealer or lady of the night, you will not be hearing from me. Appropriate dress would be required for this position, and by appropriate I mean fit for public, not a jail cell.

If you have copious grammatical errors in your personal description you will not be hearing from me. I'm judgy like that.

If you are under the age of 22 or over the age of 55 you need not apply. I think we can all agree those two age groups may not be best fit for chasing my child 8 hours a day.

If you specify that you'd like to watch my child in your home but you look like someone from Hoarders, you will not be hearing from me.

And lastly, If you cannot prove you are current on your immunizations or citizenship this is not the right position for you.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to carefully screening the remaining 3 applicants that fit my criteria.

Warm regards,

Jennifer

Postpartum exercise- you've been warned

2011-11-16T14:39:00.000-05:00

Last week I attempted my first real postpartum workout. You know, separate from my life which has become a workout in and of itself. I think I've actually lost most of the weight from this pregnancy but Lord, do I need to do some toning. And honestly, my hips did not get the memo that I was having a scheduled c-section and gratuitous spreading would not be necessary.

Working out after you've had a baby is no joke. It's dangerous. And it isn't pretty.

A few things I'd like to note to other new moms before attempting to shed those post-baby pounds.

1. Wear two sports bras. Unless you want to risk an accidental nose job when you knock yourself out with your newly endowed chest.

2. Wear two sports bras. Because your girls are going to be saggy enough after breastfeeding. No need to exacerbate matters with all that up and down.

3. Wear two sports bras. And hope you don't still leak through your shirt.

The end.

The season of giving

2011-11-16T08:55:00.002-05:00

I'd like to encourage each of you to take two minutes and click the link below. In doing so, you can very quickly send a Christmas card to a child who is in the hospital for the holidays.

You'd be shocked to know how many sick children are alone in the hospital every single day. Either because their parents live far away, or they have other children to take care of, or simply because they have to work! It is absolutely heart breaking to walk by a room where a child is hooked up to more machines than you can count and to see that there is no one there with them.

Click here

Think about the joy and excitement Christmas brings when you are a child, all of which is completely stifled when you're confined to a hospital bed. It breaks my heart. Now, I know many of these children are dealing with much more important things than Christmas. In fact, many of them are there because they are literally fighting for their life. But it warms my heart to think that they can take a break from their pain and struggle to read cards from people who don't even know them yet are thinking of them and praying for them. Especially those who don't have anyone there to support them every day.

My goal is to send one card every day until Christmas. I want it to be the first thing I do each morning when I get on my computer. There are days I sit in Davis' room holding him and still can't believe we're actually home, and I don't want to forget those who aren't as lucky. Please take a minute to do the same.

Change of heart

2011-11-12T10:59:00.000-05:00

Just weeks before I gave birth to Davis, Kristin, Dai, and I were sitting on the rooftop of a restaurant in Atlanta (where I stuck out like an enormously round sore thumb amongst all of the young singles and cocktails) discussing whether or not we thought we'd like to be stay at home moms.

I'd say we've all been reasonably successful in our careers. We're smart cookies and as a group are all pretty driven. And when in the right position we've found quite a bit of satisfaction and fulfillment in the working world. But I think growing up we all probably imagined we'd be home with our kiddos once we got to that point in our life. Now the question was- could we ever feel fulfilled by being home with them all day? Would we be willing to make financial sacrifices to do so? Would we miss working? Or would we leave it behind like Kris Humphries and never look back?

When I had Madelyn I liked my time at home with her but I was ready to go back to work. I missed the interaction with my colleagues and the sense of accomplishment. Taking her to day care was horrible and traumatic for the first year (literally), and balancing two "jobs" was not easy but we made it work.

This time I feel completely different. I have never been happier than I am right now at home with Davis. I find joy in the most mundane things. Today, I spent an hour making an excel spreadsheet for our family Christmas card list while he napped and I was overjoyed at its completion. I can't wait for him to wake up so we can play. I love cooking dinner while he takes his afternoon nap in a quiet kitchen where I can take my time, light my pumpkin candle and have a few sips of wine. I LOVE being home. I feel fulfilled, accomplished, purposeful, and happy.

Am I going back to work? Yes. I have been blessed with an incredible job that I enjoy and a team of people that I feel blessed to work with on a daily basis. That being said, I do plan to go back at a decreased capacity so that I have more time at home with Davis and Madelyn, and I'll appreciate every minute of those days. Will I have relaxed days in the kitchen, leisurely afternoons folding laundry while I roll around on the floor playing, and long morning walks while we sing nursery rhymes? No. Will I make the most of the time I do have? Yes.

If I thought leaving Madelyn was hard, leaving Davis with a known heart condition with whom I've spent almost every waking minute for the past 8 weeks in truly unthinkable. I know I'll do it but it will not be fun and it will not be easy. As we all strive for balance in this world, I will be grateful for a job that allows me the flexibility to have more time with my sweet babies, but know with utmost certainty, that I truly belong where they are. All day. Every day.

Life with two

2011-11-09T07:45:00.000-05:00

Life with two children is Ba-Na-Nas.

Seriously.

I don't think I ever truly experienced chaos until we returned home from the hospital and proceeded to begin living together as a family of four. All I could hear was "
Welcome to the Jungle" playing in the background and all I could feel was my jaw drop as I struggled to find time to brush my teeth.

Shockingly, I'm actually learning to embrace it, which goes against everything in my usually calm, structure-loving heart.

Suddenly chaos is not so bad. As long as my babies are home with me, I'll adjust. So what if I don't have time to eat or shower? Or I've forgotten what coffee tastes like before being reheated for the fourth time? I even leave dishes in the sink, a thought my former self wouldn't dare entertain. (note: would still prefer no dishes in the sink but in the essence of personal hygiene often opt for the shower over cleaning. You understand.)

Matt and I are learning to exist in a carefully choreographed dance of feedings, baths, story time, tummy time, ~~me time~~ (no such thing- urban legend), laundry/dishes/do you remember what day the trash comes?, beautiful, joyful, chaos.

Ask me how we plan to manage all of this once I go back to work and I'll pretend I didn't hear you and begin talking about something else.

That being said, if you are a qualified nanny/house cleaner/professional organizer/personal chef interested in joining our jungle, please inquire within.

(**Bonus points if you can spot the Rachel Zoe reference above. Life perspective= changed. Guilty pleasures=not changed)

Say cheese

2011-11-04T11:55:00.001-04:00

Family pictures just got infinitely more difficult. I wonder how the Duggars do it?

Update

2011-11-03T09:50:00.002-04:00

Apologies for the bland post title and the fact that I haven't updated you all on our status since my desperate plea for prayer. I am very (very) happy to report that we are back HOME! In fact, here is a picture of Davis that illustrates just how happy he about his new location.

We are an overjoyed, grateful, and THANKFUL family.

Thank you to all of you for your prayers, notes, emails, texts, etc. There is no doubt in my mind that they are responsible for Davis' remarkable recovery.

After 28 days in the hospital we were released on September 20th. Since then we've been busy adjusting to life at home with a newborn and a toddler. I could write a novel about this subject in itself but will spare you the details for another day.

As I mentioned Davis was treated for heart failure after the virus that caused his meningitis attacked his heart causing him to go into heart failure. After two separate trips to ICU and two rounds on the critical IV med amongst rounds of tests, xrays, echocardiograms, etc. he was released with an almost normally functioning heart. It is truly a miracle.

He is now on six daily medicines to keep his heart functioning as we won't know for some time if the improvement is sheer healing or just the right combo of meds, but either way we are home, he's doing wonderfully, and that's all we can really ask for. We'll deal with the future as it comes.

There is no doubt I have an entirely new perspective on our life together after what I can only describe as a true emotional nightmare. I feel like maybe this was God's way of telling me (shouting to me, rather) "Don't sweat the small stuff!" Because it really, really, couldn't matter less. All that matters it that our little family is safe and sound and I get to look into those sweet little eyes every day.

Desperation

2011-10-07T08:40:00.003-04:00

I am suddenly the mother of a child in the hospital being treated for congestive heart failure. I have no idea how this happened. I don't even really know who I am right now. But I'm writing because we need your prayers and I know there are a lot of you out there who will take a minute to say a blessing for my sweet little boy.

We realized last week that the virus Davis tested positive for was attacking his heart. We spent some time in ICU being treated, were released to a less critial unit of the hospital, ended up back in ICU and are now back in what is called the cardiac stepdown unit. And we'll here indefinitely.

My perfect little boy is on a medicine to help his sick little heart pump and on Friday they'll be taking him off the medicine to see if his heart can sustain function on its own. The first time we tried this it did not go well. This time it really has to. Because our only alternative is a heart transplant.

My angel has spent the first three weeks of his life in this hospital. He doesn't know what his room looks like or the sound of his big sissy's voice. He has no idea what it's like to live free of wires and IVs. And I have to think all of these things are coming to him, but we need your prayers.

Please pray that his little heart has had enough time to heal, and that when we turn that medicine off, he continues to function just fine. I know God can work miracles- I am reminded of that every time I look at his handsome face- but I need to call in a seriously big favor here. And I'd love your help.

Thank you in advance. And while you're at it please also pray for peace and comfort for the other families and children here. There are a lot of people waiting on their own little miracle under this roof.

a letter to my son

2011-09-26T15:59:00.003-04:00

Davis,

I am writing this letter to let you know that in the short 10 days I've known you, you have shown more strength than most adults exhibit in a lifetime. You are the toughest little boy I have ever known. You have the most amazing disposition and dimples that just melt my heart. I want you to know these things because by the grace of God, you won't remember how you spent your first few weeks of life and for this I'm grateful.

On your sixth day of life we checked into the emergency room because you started running a high fever. And we've spent the last 5 days in the children's hospital as you're treated for what we now know is bacterial meningitis.

You have had more needles in you than I care to think about. You've undergone pain, discomfort, fevers, and what I can only imagine is sheer misery and you've barely even uttered a cry. You smile and you coo. You take it as if you understand why it's all happening as your mommy sits outside the door and cries harder than she ever thought possible. You are stronger than me, of this I'm sure.

We have 9 days left to go in this journey and then we get to go home and start our life together as a family of four. I will treasure every single one of those days through the eyes of a mother who now knows what it's like to truly rely on God to get you from one day to the next. You are not healthy yet but you get a little closer every day and with your spirit I know it's only a matter of time.

You have blessed our lives so greatly in such a small time. You are our little miracle, and I am so grateful that I get to be your mommy.

The last few days

2011-09-15T12:57:00.002-04:00

These are the last four days we will EVER be just a family of three. I don't know why but this has been kind of difficult to wrap my brain around and I've been surprisingly sentimental about it. Truth be told, I don't know that any of my behavior could be categorized as surprising at this point given my hormones, but it has really made me sad to think that this is the last time we'll have Madelyn all to ourselves. My time with her is more special to me than I ever anticipated before becoming a parent and I almost can't imagine sharing it between two kids. I imagine this will wear off pretty quickly once Davis gets here :)

I also can't believe that this pregnancy has gone by this quickly. And being my last (planned) pregnancy that's had me a little weepy too. Basically I'm going to be a blubbering mess on Monday when we get to the hospital. I hope Matt is ready.

On another note, here are a few things I'm looking forward to.

1. The hospital. With Madelyn, once the c-section was over I really quite enjoyed my time at the hospital. I liked the stretchy gauze underwear, being brought pancakes for breakfast, and the adjustable geriatric bed.

2. Hearing Davis cry. There is truly nothing in this world that compares to hearing your baby cry for the first time after they're born. It's the biggest collective sigh of relief you can ever imagine.

3. Madelyn meeting Davis. I'm constantly amazed by how innately nurturing she is and I can't wait to see how she reacts to him. I also can't wait for her to open her present from him in the hospital. He got her a new baby doll with a diaper bag and everything. Only my child could find a way to ship in utero ;)

4. My mom being in town. Everything is easier when mom is in town.

5. Bringing a new baby home. I feel so much differently this time than I did the last. I'm way more excited and far less nervous. I now have a true appreciation for what a gift having a child is that I didn't have before. All I want to do is see his little face and let the lovefest begin.

Highlights and Lowlights

2011-09-07T11:04:00.007-04:00

A few highlights and lowlights from this week so far...

1. Yesterday morning I drove through Smoothie King for something to help my sore throat (more on that later) and was greeted by a man at the window saying "You 'bout to bust now, ain't 'ya?!"

"Bust your face!" is what I wanted to say but instead I smiled politely and went on my way.

2. I have a sinus infection and I am nine months pregnant. My sinuses are swelled shut, my ears are plugged, the whole nine. This drove me to purchase a Neti Pot at Walgreens yesterday which accomplished absolutely nothing but taking me firmly out of my comfort zone for about 10 minutes. Pouring things into my sinuses only to watch them fall out the other side, all the while trying not to swallow/choke= not my idea of fun. It's a bummer too because I love a good all-natural remedy and I really wanted it to work. I think unfortunately I'm just too far gone, even for the hippie sinus treatment.

3. I got a new planner in the mail and I love it. I love planners. This alone made me feel better for about 6 minutes, until I was forced to get up and get yet another box of tissues.

4. The neighbor directly across from us has decided he's going to start parking his two ton pickup truck in his front yard, directly blocking the front door to his house. He seems to think this is completely acceptable and ignores the adjacent driveway for no reason whatsoever. I have thought several times about leaving an anonymous note voicing how un-aesthetically pleasing I find this, but judging by the massive amount of junk already in his yard I have a feeling he wouldn't care.

5. Did I mention I'm sick and a tad bit grumpy?

6. But of course, the biggest highlight, is that we get to meet our sweet boy in 11 short days!! Bring on the epidural, bad flourescent lighting, and major discomfort--it will all be worth it when I hear that little guy cry.

The best day of the year

2011-09-06T08:39:00.002-04:00

Kristin's husband Matt said in college once, back in his semi-single days, that his favorite day of the year was the day the sundresses came out. Now, Matt's been known to drop a good one-liner every now and then, but this just makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Well, yesterday was my favorite day of the year.

It was the day the pumpkin spice candle came out.

And today I woke up to 62 degree weather and news that my beloved pumpkin spice latte is making it's annual debut at Starbucks. I think we all know where I'll be this afternoon.

Girl's Day

2011-09-01T10:35:00.005-04:00

This Saturday I get to spend the entire day, uninterrupted, with this little nugget. We plan to ring in the start of football season (can I get an Amen?!) with lots of girly activities and a little game watching sprinkled in. My, or rather Our, beloved Gators don't play until 7 p.m. which means I'll be watching the majority of that game alone while little miss sleeps. But I plan to make homemade popcorn, curl up on the couch, and cheer my little heart out.

My better half will be traveling up to South Carolina for the Clemson game, and though we'll miss him dearly, I know he's excited for some man-time. I keep reminding him that soon enough he won't be outnumbered and the house will be covered in more than just baby dolls and my little ponies.

Here's what I have planned for our girls day. It will be interesting to see how much of this I actually accomplish given that I can guarantee you by 2 p.m. I'll be completely exhausted.

- I plan to clean out the bread machine my grandma sweetly just gave me and try my hand at bread making. I hear this is fairly fool-proof but I don't buy it.

- Plant some sort of flower resilient enough to withstand my black thumb in my one urn that is left from the sofa installation disaster of 2011.

- Make Darby's recipe for curried chicken salad and peanut butter krispies.

- Nap. For as long as possible.

- Take little miss to the library and let her pick out some new books and maybe a movie to watch. Library=air conditioned=good.

- And maybe, just maybe, venture out to Babies R Us for our last remaining baby needs.

This is assuming I haven't passed out by this point and been forced to call in reinforcements. I have a tendency to vastly overestimate what I'm capable of at nearly 37 weeks pregnant. Chances are we'll spend 60% of the day sitting on the floor having picnics with and tending to our baby dolls, and that's ok too :)

The Simple Life

2011-08-31T14:09:00.004-04:00

Life is never simpler than when you bring home a new baby. The weeks leading up to the actual arrival are hectic and rushed as you work to check off your to do's, stock up on all of the essentials, and prepare the nest for your new little one. But it's amazing how once you get home, life truly takes on its simplest form.

Suddenly all that matters is what is happening under your very own roof. You spend hours just staring at this little being in quiet contentment. You feel no need to leave the house (at least I didn't); you rarely check your email or your blackberry; you couldn't care less about what's on sale at Target or which celebrity was just caught shaming their mother in ways no parent should have to witness. You sleep, you feed, you diaper, and suddenly an entire day has gone by. You may wonder, "what did I do all day" because your day wasn't filled with the usual hurried rush of activities and tasks. Instead you are truly just working to sustain this little life- and your own, when you have the time.

I love it. It's my idea of the simple life. A life that emphasizes what truly matters in this world and de-emphasizes the many things we so often take part in that don't matter at all. And I can't wait to do it all over again :)

Embracing Chaos

2011-08-25T14:28:00.002-04:00

As we near the arrival of our second child I've made a conscious effort not to stress about how crazy/chaotic/hectic our life is about to become. I've even surprised myself at how laid back I've felt these past few weeks, amidst everyone telling me that I have no idea what is coming and that really, I should be holding on for dear life.

When Madelyn was born I was completely overwhelmed. I really couldn't relax and it wasn't pretty. I was so worried about her schedule, her baby acne, feeding our visitors, etc that I was a mess. Not this time though.

This time I will embrace the chaos. I will not try to be perfect, I will set expectations low, and I will go with the flow.

Yes, there are going to be times when everyone is crying and I can't hear myself think. At some point, I am going to leave the house without diapers, or the pacifier, or ~~(my mind)~~ my purse. The house will not be spotless, the laundry will pile up, and we may eat takeout for dinner more than I'd like to admit. If I have to sit Madelyn in front of the TV for 30 minutes to get something done then so be it. It won't kill her.

This time, I'm just along for the ride. I'm going to soak up every minute with my sweet babies because this is the last time I'll be bringing a newborn home. The last brand new baby that I can just hold and kiss and love. And I seriously and not going to let my dirty socks get in the way of that.

Whoop There It Is

2011-08-22T14:42:00.004-04:00

Four weeks to go until we get to meet our sweet boy!

I am cherishing every last minute of this journey. Even though I look like I'm about to fall over, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm getting really, really excited to see my little nugget's face and smell his sweet baby breath.

And to give in to the incessant diet Dr. Pepper cravings I've been having.

Wish List

2011-08-16T08:44:00.007-04:00

A little list of pretties I've had my eyes on. An early Christmas list of sorts, in hopes that one day my husband actually stumbles upon my little corner of the interwebs :)

1. John Wind chunky monogram bracelet- I saw this on a friend recently and it was gorgeous. Love.

2. Pretty patterned blouse for fall. I think this would be so cute with skinnies and boots. Not that I plan to stuff these thighs into skinnies anytime soon...

Bianka Blouse: Casual by ehayes featuring ballet flat shoes

3. A Starbuck's pumpkin spice latte. And the cooler weather that comes with it.

4. This yummy anthropologie candle. When it burns down, you can reuse the mercury glass jar for cotton balls and q-tips!

5. White wine. And lots of it. What? I'm just being honest.

6. These precious gift labels. You can slap these on a plain brown bag or cellaphane wrapper with a little raffia and suddenly your gift looks perfectly and thoughtfully wrapped. Domestic laziness at it's best. I love it.

Baby Prep

2011-08-09T10:05:00.005-04:00

( 33 1/2 week belly as seen looking down. It now rests comfortable on my expanding thighs. )

My little nugget is going to be here in five and a half short weeks! And that's assuming he isn't early like his big sissy was. So, I figured it was time for a quick pregnancy update before my fingers get so swollen I can't type.

I have gained 24 pounds so far in this pregnancy which is truly shocking given how much junk food I've eaten. I probably could have gained a lot less but I've really indulged this time. I figure since we aren't planning to have more kids I should eat what I want while I can. Please remind me of this when I'm complaining about losing it afterwards.

I'm starting to swell. I never got swollen with Madelyn because I wasn't pregnant during the hot months, but this time I'm retaining water like it's my job. My wedding ring is getting very snug and I figure at best I have another week left to wear it, at which point I will go buy a cheap fake one so people don't think I'm an knocked up unwed hussy.

I have followed in the footsteps of many other bloggers out there and started a home management notebook, complete with monthly menu plan, cleaning check list, daily to do list, and recipes. I have to say, I'm liking the monthly menu plan. It allows me to make sure we're eating enough of a variety of foods, takes the guess work out of shopping, and overall just satisfies my type-A urges to a T.

I organized all of our flours, sugars, baking goods, etc into pretty mason jars after seeing Christi's kitchen. Now every time I open up the baking cabinet it's uniform and organized. A nester's dream.

I've stopped looking at my butt in the mirror when I get out of the shower because the cellulite started giving me nightmares. Though I still do lunges and squats every.single.night. Even when it feels like Davis is just going to fall right out. It's a sickness.

I feel like I'm living in a perpetual hot flash and Matt thinks I'm trying to freeze him out of the house. Seriously people, if you can avoid it, do not be hugely pregnant in the summer.

I am loving washing all of the clothes and blankets we have for our sweet boy. It is such a huge change to see so much blue in our laundry, but it definitely makes it feel more real, and I can't wait to kiss his sweet cheeks!

The Big Reveal

2011-08-09T09:45:00.007-04:00

Here she is in all her glory--our new sofa. Worth every drop of sweat shed yesterday when you sit on her glorious down wrapped cushions. We have a little more painting to do but we've had so much rain lately it's been too humid, so this isn't a final picture, but it's pretty darn close. First, let me refresh your memory of the dark and depressing tan-drenched before:

And now, the bright and inviting after!

I ordered some pretty pillows at the recommendation of our designer that truth be told are a little out of my comfort zone, but I think will add some much needed PoP to the room. And I forgot to take a picture of our painting over the chairs, but you've already seen that here.

I mentioned a while back that we also decided to convert our rarely-used office into a playroom. Let me just tell you- this may be the best decision we ever made. Madelyn absolutely loves the new space and is in there at all hours of the day. It provides some much-needed storage for her ever expanding toy collection, and a nice open space for us to just hang together as a family. And again, it's got a much more refreshing, open feel to it now.

Here is what the room liked as the office slash room for all of Matt's Georgia paraphernalia (good riddens I say):

And now as our new playroom, which will unfortunately also have to function as our guest room until we move into a larger house. That large chair actually houses a twin mattress inside, which is the only place we have for guests to sleep when they come to visit, but it will do for now. Luckily the only person we really need to accommodate at this point is my mom as she'll be graciously coming up to help me when Davis is born

That large piece to the left is an armoire where we store toys, books, gift wrap, etc. And I swear the pictures on the wall aren't crooked, they just look that way because I am seriously lacking photography skills.

All in all we are thrilled with the changes we've made. They've certainly been a lot of work, time, and money (ahem), but so worth it to give our family an environment we truly enjoy.

Next up- the baby's room. I guess it's time I start that one since he'll be here in about six weeks.

Holy Pregnant Panic Attack

2011-08-08T15:24:00.004-04:00

If you wonder what it takes to send an 8 month pregnant chick into a manic sweat-induced hysteria let me tell you: having a Pottery Barn delivery crew show up to bring in your gorgeous new sofa and being told that they can't fit it through the door so they'll have to leave it in the garage, and that since it's considered a custom order Pottery Barn won't accept it as a return. 24 hours after you gave your old sofa away and replaced it with a twin-sized blow up mattress on the floor.

Holy panic.

Because God is clearly on my side, and yes, I realize this is just a couch we're talking about, my wonderful husband pulled up in the driveway just as the crew was about to leave and convinced them to try again.

Long story short, the couch is in. We had to remove the front door, remove the sofa legs, we broke my front porch planter, scratched the wood floor and stair banister, but it's in. Which is better than having a very expensive piece of furniture in my garage that can't be used. And nowhere for me to put up my cankles.

Back later with pictures :)

This week's menu

2011-08-01T16:16:00.004-04:00

I thought I'd share our weekly menu incase anyone is looking for inspiration. Nothing too fancy, but all tried and true except for one new pizza recipe. Enjoy!

Sunday: Gluten-free sour cream enchiladas (these are delicious)

Monday: Maple salmon, jasmine rice, spinach and strawberry salad

Tuesday: Leftovers

Wednesday: Sausage, spinach, and provolone pizza

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Grilled chicken with strawberry feta salsa (shown above), grilled corn on the cob, caesar salad

Oh, and I'm also trying to sneak in a little fruit cobbler just for good measure. I'd hate for all that abundant summer fruit to go to waste.

We're getting closer!

2011-08-01T16:12:00.003-04:00

Still need to:

- Spraypaint mirror over mantle

- Get new couch (hurry up, Pottery Barn! Geez)

- Add pictures to frames and hang painting

- Add some colorful pillows (we're in serious need of color now)

But even with those left to tackle, this has quickly become my favorite room in the house. Well, except for the kitchen. I am 8 months pregnant after all. My heart follows my food source.

Let There Be Art

2011-07-29T12:42:00.002-04:00

See that totally gorge painting in the picture above? She's the newest addition to our living room thanks to Kristin over at KFD Designs.

You see, I ~~wanted~~ needed a very specific size painting to go over our two leather chairs. And I wanted something pretty and soothing, but not costing my first born.

Kristin had done some work for me in the past and she is super talented. I asked her to commission a piece based on a few ideas I sent her way and this is what she came up with. Perfection.

This picture wasn't taken in our house but once I get this baby in I'll be sure to share. We're picking her up Saturday.

To read more about how Kristen put this together (including the use of rain and salt—she's a genius I tell you) click here.

Living Room Redo

2011-07-21T15:35:00.010-04:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, I decided at roughly 7 months pregnant I wanted to completely redo our living room. Nevermind that our first child's big-girl room and new baby's nursery were far from complete. Cue the eye roll from the husband. Then cue his eventual surrender because let's be honest, he's learned by now that once I've made up my mind there really is no turning back.

The existing space was fine. Just fine. But I was starting to feel like I was drowning in a sea of tan. When we painted our house four years ago I painted everything tan because all I wanted was a neutral pallete, as opposed to the purple wallpapered one we encountered upon moving in. And I really didn't have any taste or sense for what my style was at the time. Now I felt I needed a bright, fresh life raft to save me from my sea of monotony. Enter Capella. You may remember her from Kristin's amazing bedroom re-do. She's an extremely talented designer who we hired to help us with the room. This was a big splurge for us, but worth every.single.penny.

Here is the before. See what I mean?

And now our plan. Unfortunately no after photo yet. These things take time, people!

Based on my inspiration photos, Capella suggested a color scheme of soft greys, ivory, and marigold. Light and airy, simple, but polished. We're painting the walls a beautiful light ivory with grey undertones and the paneling an darker grey that I'm completely in love with. We ditched the brown rug and brought in this baby (which arrived 48 hours later after purchase and shipped for free). We ordered the below couch and she's supposed to arrive mid-August. Her name is Carlisle. I think she's pretty fancy. We got rid of the dark wood (and enormous) coffee table and got a great deal on a tufted storage ottoman from the Ballard outlet.

Once the painting is complete, which should be in the coming days, we'll move to artwork and finishing touches. But for now, here is a shot of our progress!

Since this is the room we literally live in every night and day, it was important to me that it feel special and soothing, not dark and drab. And even though we have our house on the market, we can take everything with us except for the paint in the event that it does sell. Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake ;)

Carbs and Cheese...and some other stuff too

2011-07-19T09:06:00.004-04:00

I thought I'd share a few recipes I've made in the last few weeks. The first two were for a family potluck on Sunday for which the theme was Mexican. I was asked to bring a rice dish and an appetizer. You should know that these were delicious and had not ounce of nutritional value.

1. Tortilla roll ups- little bite-sized morsels of cheese/salsa/sour cream/ranch/cheese and a little more cheese.

2. Mexican sour cream rice - Again, the perfect mixture of carbs, melted cheese, sour cream, green chiles and corn. I omitted the chicken since this was just a side dish, and in my defense I did use all low fat ingredients. Not that it matters.

3. Salsa chicken soft tacos - these were super super delicious and even easier than I anticipated. In lieu of the tortilla I ate this in a bowl with a little corn and beans mixed in. I was still in a bit of a carb-induced coma from Sunday.

4. Honey dijon overnight chicken recipe- the flavor was right on here but I tried to cook them in the crock pot instead of the oven. Don't do this. I imagine if you followed the directions you'd be enjoying a delicious meal while I carved through chicken that was way too dry.

5. Bethenny's BBQ Bleu burger - Loved the flavor in these but mine completely fell apart for some reason. I hadn't broiled burgers before and I think this may have been the problem. I used feta instead of bleu cheese and ate this without the bun.

I found out yesterday that based on my last blood test at the doctor my hemoglobin is low, which explains why I've been so darn tired lately. So in the coming weeks we'll be adding more red meal to our diets. Given that we rarely eat red meat, I'm looking for good recipe suggestions. If you have any send them my way pronto.

30 Weeks

2011-07-18T09:02:00.005-04:00

You know you're 30 weeks pregnant when...

*You feel like one of those beached whales that requires a team of 20 scientists and several large nets to flip them over everytime you roll over at night.

*You find yourself eating chocolate chips right out of the bag. At 10 a.m.

*You can feel yourself waddling and you don't even attempt to walk normally.

*You just scheduled a maid service to clean your house because everytime you squat down it feels like the baby is going to fall out.

Things I'm Loving This Week

2011-07-14T10:00:00.002-04:00

The pop of pink in Bryn's powder bath. I full intend to copy this in our similarly toned powder bath off the kitchen. I also loved this guest post she did on her favorite candles and scents for the home. I'm a sucker for a good candle, even if it is expensive.
This super cute candle holder I picked up from Bath & Body Works for only $5.

My new $14 shades from Old Navy. I've been wearing the same sunglasses for four years and I thought it was high time for a new pair. Matt gave me a gorgeous Burberry pair before our honeymoon that have served me well. Now I'm moving onto the aviator trend... About 2 years behind the rest of the civilized world.

Mommy bloggers and friends who tell it like it is. These sources have provided me enormous support and help as we brace ourselves for another little bambino and potty train/sleep train/house train our current one.

Nesting. I love love love nesting. And I am in full force right now. I'm pulling together Madelyn's big girl room with art and accessories, planning how to turn our office into a functional and non-cheesy playroom, re-doing our living room, and trying to figure out how I want to decorate my sweet boy's room! Clearly I like to be busy.

And lastly, egg white and spinach wraps from Starbucks for breakfast. They are just ridiculously good.

Reality TV: Mommy Style

2011-07-13T08:59:00.002-04:00

Behold the newest member of our family—the Summer deluxe handheld video monitor. Also known as the answer to every mommy's sleep training prayer.

Our transition to the big girl bed has been progressing rather slowly. Up until this week I hadn't quite realized just how strong-willed Madelyn really is. It's this particular trait in her that I hope will help her to not to be easily swayed by others as she grows up, but that also means she isn't easily swayed by me. Or her father. Which poses an interesting problem.

Matt and I quickly realized if we ever wanted to sleep through the night again we'd have to be a bit more structured in how we approached bed time. (Read: I had to stop letting her come in and sleep with me because I am a total sucker.)

So, last night we began bedtime boot camp. We read her books, said her prayers, rubbed her back for a few minutes, shut the door and left. And settled in to what became by far the most entertaining show I've seen all week (actually the only show I've seen all week). Madelyn proceeded to get out of bed, gather all of her books along with her menagerie of stuffed animals, and put them in bed with her. She even took her nightlight out of the wall and put that in bed with her too. Then she yelled at us, cried a little, got in bed, got out of bed, moved her toys around, sat in bed as though she'd run out of things to do, and about 45 minutes later finally laid down and went to sleep.

The best thing is, we could shut the door and watch her knowing she was 100% safe. Before, I'd sit at the door wondering if the large thump I'd just heard was a book she'd thrown or her head as she fell out of bed—if you can't tell I tend to assume the worst.

We still have a ways to go—last night she still woke up twice. We let her cry for 20 minutes or so then Matt went in, tucked her in, and she went right back to sleep. We're definitely still a bit sleep deprived, but we're getting there.

And on a completely unrelated note, I've sworn for a while that there is a ghost living in our house and I'm pretty sure I saw him in that monitor last night. But that's another story for another day.

Big girl bed: Night 1

2011-07-07T09:58:00.002-04:00

Last night I decided to put Madelyn in her big girl bed. Originally I was going to wait until next week but I thought "What the heck? Let's just go for it and see what happens."

Wouldn't you know, my little rambunctious monkey went right down. Completely blew me away. I sat next to her and said our prayers and about 10 minutes later she was passed out. I snuck out avoiding all of the creaks in the floor and held my breath outside her room convinced she'd run out crying any minute. But she didn't. Score 1 for my unexpectedly well adjusted child.

Then around 9:30 I went in to check on her and she'd fallen out. I'd put a large ottoman up against her bed in case this happened and low and behold she was completely asleep on it. Hadn't even stirred. I put her back in bed, sat there for a few minutes to make sure she was out, and creeped back to my room.

Just shortly after I heard two large thumps which turned out to be her head knocking up against the wall. Cue scene two of mom running in, toddler still sleeping, and mom walking out in disbelief.

Then at 1:30 I woke up and went in to check on her. She was on the ottoman again, fast asleep. I put her back in bed but a few minutes later she fell out. And not on the ottoman. On the ground where all I had placed were pillows. She was scared and upset and I was exhausted so I brought her in with me.

Tonight we'll be installing a safety rail that covers the entire length of the bed and will prevent any middle of the night child spillage.

I had been seriously dreading this transition but it could turn out to be a pleasant surprise. Last night served as a good reminder that you will always have good nights and bad nights. And even though potty training or sleep training seem like enormous hurdles that we'll never overcome, everything is just a phase. Just do your best and eventually it will all work out.

Last week when I was all freaked out because Madelyn was requiring me to rock her before she went to sleep (hello, regression), my Dad reminded me that one day she won't want to be rocked at all. So if I want to cuddle her and she's happy, just do it. She'll likely want to quit long before I will.

Score one for the wise parent who sees the big picture I'm often ignoring.

Pin me

2011-06-30T11:32:00.008-04:00

I'm the latest to jump on the Pinterest band wagon. It's true. And I really love it. Considering I'm constantly saving pictures I see online in folders for home decor, gift ideas, things for the monkey, etc. this online repository is perfect for an inspiration hoarder like myself.

Behold a few of my favorites from this week.

I don't know that I could pull this dress off, but it's super cute. Turns out short dresses aren't ideal for bending down and picking up children.

I'm seriously craving horizontal stripes for when I'm no longer pregnant. Image from tumblr.

Gorgeous.

This little girl's room which is now serving as the color inspiration for Madelyn's big girl room. Minus the pink carpet. Does that go without saying? (From House of Turquoise.)

This kitchen redo from Southern Living.

I love so much about this photo. The under-sink baskets, the shade, the white. Love.

I've lost control

2011-06-27T08:57:00.005-04:00

I've officially lost control of Madelyn. I imagine this is probably how you feel when you watch your naive teenager pull out of the driveway for the first time. Or when you become "that mom" with the screaming flailing child in Target.

A bit helpless. A bit bewildered. And lost in the wonder of why parenthood is so darn hard sometimes.

Exactly 48 hours ago Madelyn learned how to get out of her crib and nighttime has since become a disaster of EPIC proportions.

Last night it took a full hour and 15 minutes to get her to go to sleep. She got out of bed screaming and thrashing like a rabid animal every time I put her in, she kicked and shook the baby gate at her door, she spit and hit me, you name it, she did it.

I had no idea what to do and I found myself walking through what felt like the steps of dealing with loss and guilt. I denied it, thinking she'd tire and go to sleep. I bargained, promising her a milkshake if she would please-dear-God-just-go-to-sleep. I got angry. I fought back tears. I tried everything. I was at a complete loss and eventually just started praying for strength and wisdom and I listened to her cry in the other room. It was horrible.

Eventually I just held her door shut so she couldn't get to the gate and somehow she got back up into her crib and went to sleep. At 5:30 this morning she woke up saying "mommy get me, get me!" which was good because she didn't get out on her own, and in a moment of pure sleep-deprived weakness and guilt for maybe being too hard on her, I let her come sleep the rest of the morning with me.

I have no idea what's going to happen tonight. Obviously I realize it's time to move her to a big girl bed so we're working on that, but until it's ready we're going to have to tough it out together.

Being a parent is hard and last night was by far the hardest night I've had so far. Never have I felt so clueless or so infused with self doubt. I realize this is the first of many battles we will likely fight over the course of her precious life, and I am not naive enough to think that they're going to get any easier, but I do hope I can find within me some shred of inner confidence that I'm doing the "right" thing--whatever that might be.

Head Down

2011-06-14T20:59:00.003-04:00

Work is insane right now. I'm sitting on the couch working, which I've been doing every night this week when Madelyn goes to bed, breathing through a rather difficult Braxton Hicks contraction.

Part of my job is planning large corporate events, the most important of which is next week in Chicago. I love this part of my job, though I'm becoming increasingly confident it is not meant to be done by someone who is nearing their seventh month of pregnancy.

I am trying so hard not to stress but I'm afraid the next nine days are really going to test that ability.

I'd appreciate your prayers, your patience, and anyone you know who may be fit to send to Chicago as a believable impostor.

24 weeks

2011-06-09T15:54:00.000-04:00

Woah, nelly.

Mother's Intuition

2011-06-07T12:43:00.004-04:00

Mother's intuition is a funny thing. When you're expecting your first child you worry you won't have it. Then said child arrives and after you get through the haze of the first few days (ahem, weeks) you seamlessly become the protective intuitive guardian you always hoped you'd be.

Then they get a little bit older and you're tested... Often, if your child is anything like mine.

Madelyn brings a joy to my life that I literally never thought possible. It's true when people say you'll never ever understand how much you can truly love something until you have a child. But as sweet as she is, my little nugget has the immune system of a ladybug. She gets everything. She had two bouts with pneumonia, RSV, and roughly four ear infections in her first 18 months of life. In this regard she's truly her mother's daughter. But what has completely blown me away is my ability to just know when something is wrong in a way that no one else can sense, not even her father.

For example, when she had RSV (a serious respiratory virus that makes it difficult to breathe) she wasn't exhibiting any symptoms whatsoever. Literally, none. Matt thought I had fallen off the crazy train when at 7:30 at night I wanted to drive her down to the urgent care, but I knew something wasn't right. And it wasn't.

I was tested again this past Friday night when she developed a cough unlike any of the other coughs I've ever heard. I know the asthma cough, the pneumonia cough, the "I just have a little post nasal drip" cough, but something about this cough sent a red flag up my spine. Now picture me on the phone with the on-call pulmonologist at 10:30 at night who quickly confirmed she had croup, yet another serious virus that attacks the throat making it difficult to breathe. Croup also gives you no warning before your child can lapse into respiratory distress, so you literally have to watch them vigilantly all night long. Obviously not something you want to ignore.

This intuition has one of the biggest surprises of motherhood. And even more surprising, I've never been wrong when it comes to her. Matt is truly an incredible father, but he will never understand when I base a diagnosis 100% on a gut feeling because he doesn't have it. It's a God-given gift to mothers--as long as we listen to it.

A morning with Gwyneth

2011-06-01T14:39:00.004-04:00

So I broke down and bought My Father's Daughter last week. I've been trying to really cut back on any extra spending but when I received an email from Borders for $30% off an item, and they already had it marked %50 off, that was a deal I just couldn't refuse.

I have to say, it has yet to disappoint. I spent Saturday morning making a few recipes from the book and we tried out another last night. It seems she can actually cook. But what I love most about the book are the gorgeous pictures and narrative dialogue throughout. In the beginning she talks about ways to safely and productively get your children involved in the kitchen, her bout with a macrobiotic diet which she now says was subconsciously her way of trying to heal her cancer-stricken father, and encourages you to clean as you go and drink while you cook (amen, sister).

The ingredients are, for the most part, simple and fresh. She is above all a mother, and her goal is to feed her children the healthiest food possible while still making the process enjoyable and tasty. The first thing I made (no surprise here) were the blueberry muffins- the most carby thing I could find within the covers. I LOVE them, and the only sugars in the recipes are maple syrup and agave nectar. They're dense and delicious, and include 2.5 cups of blueberries. Of course, Madelyn won't eat them. I have no idea why. I think it may be because I used frozen instead of the fresh blueberries the recipe called for making the muffins turn blue, or "smurf muffins" as Matt affectionately referred to them. Either way, that just leaves more for me and baby boy. Score.

So far I've made her standby vinaigrette which is truly so good I've sworn off store-bought salad dressing forever, her homemade turkey sausage patties, the smurf muffins, peach bbq chicken, teriyaki salmon and kale chips. The only recipe not in the book is the peach bbq chicken which you can find here along with a few other non-published yummies I plan to make one of these days. Strawberry shortcake sliders? Yes please.

It's been really refreshing to find a healthy cookbook with recipes that use very few ingredients, are truly easy to prepare, and come out delicious. And from a mom who could easily afford to hire someone to feed her family for her, but chooses to approach the process together with them.

You can find a few other recipes, including the blueberry muffins, here.

Eat up!

A day at the lake

2011-06-01T13:25:00.004-04:00

Saturday we headed to our friend's lake house for a day out on the boat--an activity that made me physically nauseous as I'm the paranoid mother of a child who doesn't yet know how to swim. You can see by Madelyn's face she wasn't so sure about it either. But about an hour into the day she turned into a little fish right before my eyes- complete with her swimmies and requisite barrette.

This is how we started....grumpy pants...

10 minutes later...

And 60 minutes later....

I'd say that's progress.

This Week

2011-05-26T09:18:00.003-04:00

Here's what I've been up to this week....

1. I made this Ina Garten panzanella recipe and proceeded to eat 1/3 of the bowl in one serving. For the sake of full disclosure this is a large Williams Sonoma mixing bowl. I have no shame. I followed the recipe to a T except I left out the capers, cut back on the bread because I was trying to be good, then decided I didn't care about being good and added some chopped mozzarella. This was SO GOOD. It would be the perfect, fresh accompaniment to a summer BBQ.

(Pardon the lazy camera phone picture. Laziness has been a recurring theme this week as I went to bed at 7:30 last night. That is by far a new record. In my defense I was so tired I couldn't even keep my eyes open and I certainly wasn't much fun to be around. I think it was just an isolated hormone-related incident as I feel much better today.)

2. My asexual love affair with Gwyneth Paltrow continued as I found this clip of her busting out the words from an early 90's rap song on a recent talk show. I've been known to rap a few verses myself but only after several poorly mixed cocktails and within the boundaries of my safe haven, Gainesville, Florida. Preferably at a little bar called Balls. Yep. Balls.

3. The first or second thing Madelyn tells me every single morning when she wakes up is "I wear pretty dress today, Mommy." She's such a girl's girl.

4. And lastly, I'm starting to accept that it really doesn't look like our house is going to sell. It doesn't matter how low we go with the price, we're almost at our rock bottom, and we're not getting any bites. Or any showings for that matter. So I'm moving forward with plan B which includes re-doing the living room and adding some playroom functionality to our current home office. Don't worry I'm bringing in a professional. But if you could say a prayer that we randomly come in to some money to help fund these little adventures it would be greatly appreciated ;)

M.I.A.

2011-05-20T17:22:00.003-04:00

If you're wondering where I've been this week I can now tell you that I've spent the majority of the past four days within the safe confines of my bedroom battling my second stomach bug this pregnancy. I hope this isn't an indication of how this little boy is going to treat me when he gets older.

I first thought said stomach bug was food poisoning as I immediately became sick after eating some strawberries from the farm up the road. This caused me great pain (no pun intended) as those strawberries were damn good and I was immediately sad I'd never be able to buy them again. Until the next day when I found out Matt's mom had the bug too, so she clearly gave it to me when we had them over for dinner on Sunday. Score one for my beloved strawberry farm, zero for my immune system.

Now, almost four days later, I feel much better though am still living solely on a diet of soup, carbs, and Gatorade. Tomorrow I hope to get back to my normal pregnancy diet of carbs, cheese, and ice cream...kidding, kidding.

Hope to be back to normal tomorrow and proving some slightly more interesting posts next week ;)

Refurbished Perfection

2011-05-13T13:22:00.004-04:00

Feast your eyes on this gorgeousness. And no I'm not talking about Keri Russell's perfect hair though that is the first thing that struck me about these photos.

Check out her Brooklyn Brownstone. She and her contractor hubby completely redid the entire thing using mostly refurbished and sustainable materials. It's stunning. Girl knows how to decorate, and having a hubby who knows how to build stuff doesn't hurt either. I love the neutral palette and soft textures. And I really need that tufted ottoman for my living room.

And while we're on the subject, I also really love her worn jeans and rolled up oxford. She looks so "Oh I just came back from the farmer's market and didn't expect you" yet in a way that doesn't make you hate how stunning she is.

Call me, Keri. We can talk furnishings and hair products. I'll bring the wine.

Thrifty Thursday

2011-05-11T14:34:00.002-04:00

This is how it all started a few weeks ago. We found out we were having a little boy and suddenly the five bins of pink clothes in the garage would no longer be necessary.

So I brought them all in and sorted them into the bags and bins you see above. And this is what Matt came home too one night after work. Sadly these conditions don't really phase him anymore as it's not unlike me to suddenly reorganize the kitchen cabinets or Madelyn's closet. In fact, I think he'd be more worried if I wasn't engaging in this borderline obsessive behavior.

Anyways, I sorted Madelyn's old clothes into piles, lamenting over each little ruffle and embroidered stitch and wondering how shopping for a boy could ever be fun. I laughed, I cried, I organized like a maniac. And here's where we ended up.

1 bag of the clothes I just can't part with because they're so stinken cute I want to keep them forever and them embarrass her with them when she gets older

1 bag of clothes that are gender-neutral enough for our sweet boy

2 stuffed-t0-the-brim trash bags for Goodwill

1 bin of super cute items I want to keep for my friends who have girls

and 1 bin of items to take to the consignment shop

So a few weeks ago I pranced up to the local consignment shop to see how much I could get for my goodies and ended up making about $30! Not too shabby! What did I do with that $30 you ask? Why I turned right around and spent it on boy clothes!

Here's a picture of my loot, including two Ralph Lauren items WITH tags that I got for $5.95 each.

And yes, that spagetti strap top on the left is a ruffly floral number for my first born. Hopefully at some point between now and when she turns 35 I'll actually be able to stop showering her in ruffles. Luckily, I've got time.

Here we go

2011-05-09T16:33:00.004-04:00

First belly picture- 20 weeks.

More notable to me than the pointy-looking belly in this picture is the fact that I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and scarf last week because it was chilly and today it's 90.

Anywhoo--I got to see our sweet boy this morning and he's quite the little gymnast! He literally didn't stop moving the entire ultrasound and spent a good part of it with his legs and feet up over his head. Maybe he's already practicing for when I put him in his bouncy seat and make him watch me do yoga.

We were thrilled to get a good report from the doctor and reassurance that he's growing and thriving and appears healthy! Just like his mama who has put on SEVEN pounds since her last check up a brief four weeks ago. I'd like to say those are all in my boobs but I fear that's not the case.

On another note, anyone watching my girl Bethenny's season finale tonight?! I'm going to try my best to stay up for it and not go to bed at 9 like the geriatric I'm quickly becoming. Wish me luck!

The second time around

2011-05-04T13:25:00.005-04:00

Being pregnant the second time is vastly different from the first.

For beginners, no one really fawns over you like they did the first time. It's kind of like getting pregnant the first time was an amazing emotional accomplishment and this time is more like the predictable movie sequel.

You're much (emphasis on the much) more tired because you already have a toddler to take care of. And if they're anything like mine, they insist on a game called "run mommy, run!" all. over. the. house. The first time you got to rest whenever you wanted because the only person you really had to take care of was yourself, and all that really meant was eating and sleeping. And getting pedicures because there was plenty of time and no way you could feasibly reach your toes yourself.

The first pregnancy you anxiously read emailed baby updates every week and thumb through "What to Expect When Expecting" daily relaying the most interesting and shocking tidbits to your husband, parents, friends, etc. You take pictures of your growing belly every week documenting its growth to the day. The second pregnancy no one really asks how big the baby is this week or how you're feeling, and you're so busy with your already child-filled life you realize at nearly 20 weeks you haven't taken one belly picture.

The first time you plan the nursery months in advance, playing close attention to every detail, safety precaution, product recall, and SIDS warning. Today I realized I'd rewritten "choose nursery paint color" on my to do list for the third week in a row because I just haven't had a chance to do it. And it would probably take me 4 minutes.

The first time you wouldn't even think of touching caffeine, excess sugar, (wine, ahem), or lunch meat. The second time you enjoy the occasional glass of red, you eat feta, and you suddenly subscribe to the mentality that a little caffeine never hurt anyone. It's like once you've been blessed with a healthy baby you become incrementally less worried about the next and just assume everything will be fine. Though I don't think my current consumption of candy corn is helping anyone.

You're also more emotional. Like, a lot more emotional. Because the first time you're excited but you have no idea what being a parent means, or the emotional connection you'll have with your child. This time you know exactly how meaningful it is and how deep an impact it has on your life which makes it even more amazing and awe-inspiring. And tear-inducing. When I saw our little boy on the screen a few weeks ago I immediately started bawling so badly the technician had to stop what she was doing and get me a tissue. I never once cried at one of Madelyn's ultrasounds. I didn't quite get it yet. Now it just blows me away.

I'd say the second time I feel much more lucky, because I realize what a tremendous honor it is to not only be Madelyn's mother but also what it will mean to parent our sweet baby boy. I'm more relaxed, because I don't have the extra energy to stress and worry. And I'm trying to cherish every minute because I see how quickly Madelyn has gone from a baby to a little person, and I know with two it's not going to get any quieter around here :)

A very belated birthday post

2011-04-30T13:11:00.005-04:00

This post is so overdue, but in my defense I've been sick for 10 days with an unrelenting sinus infection and sadly the only things I've had the energy for are sleeping, taking care of Madelyn, and eating (duh, I am pregnant).

That being said, I woke up today feeling much better, so here is my quick and dirty recap of my sweet girl's second birthday party.

We were super lucky to have most of mine and Matt's family present and Madelyn loved every minute of it. She was definitely not hurting for attention.

We inflated a small bouncy house that was obviously a huge hit with the kids. I'm pretty sure Madelyn would have slept in it if I had let her.

I ate copious amounts of gluten and loved every single bite.

Madelyn was absolutely showered with gifts- our friends and family are truly so generous and thoughtful. Here is a small sampling. There was a lot of pink that room.

We spent most of the party outside in our newly sodded (is that a verb?) back yard. It was the perfect day to spent outside.

Instead of using both hands to shovel cake into her mouth, this year she neatly ate every piece with her fork. I was so proud.

We used the inner layer of frosting on the cake to announce that....drumroll please....WE ARE HAVING A BOY!! More details on that later ;)

Gluten-free goodies

2011-04-19T07:22:00.007-04:00

For some reason I've had gluten on my mind so much lately I keep hearing Snoop singing "aint nothin but a G thang" in my head. I think it's a nice spin on the original meaning.

Anyways, it seems I am one of the lucky few pregos who develops a gluten and dairy intolerance as a result of pregnancy. It doesn't affect me in the digestive system like most people, instead it manifests itself as a red rash around my mouth. And my friends can tell you, my two favorite food groups are carbs and cheese, so the past few weeks have been quite a transition for me. In fact I spent the weekend in sheer denial that this was happening, ate whatever I wanted, and spent Monday morning layering concealer all over my inflamed face.

Since today's Tea on Tuesday at Grey Umbrella is about FOOD, what better time to share my new finds than now!

I refuse to give up my yummy carby-items so I'm learning to make them without gluten or dairy, and I've beeen shocked at how good they are! Here are two of the recipes I've adjusted slightly for happy rash-free consumption.

1. Smitten Kitchen pumpkin muffins- these came out sooooo good. All I did was replace the regular flour with brown rice flour. They are moist, flavorful, and even Madelyn can't stop eating them.

2. Bethenny's banana bread- I've made the traditional version of this several times with great results, but this time I again added brown rice flour instead of regular white or wheat and added an extra 1/2 a banana. It was just as delicious, which Kristin's hubby affirmed for me over brunch on Sunday. I find the boys are often the toughest critics when it comes to healthy food, so this was all I needed to hear.

As someone who is brand new to this way of eating (and admittedly a little bit bitter about it), I've found several great sites that make it a little bit easier to navigate this lifestyle.

Crockpot 365- if you have a crock pot, you need this site. Most of her recipes are gluten-free (but not necessarily low-sugar...don't say I didn't warn you) and use everyday ingredients. I've only made two or three and they came out well.

Elana's pantry- I haven't made any of these yet but I have quite a few on my radar. I especially love her suggestions for an Easter brunch. Oh, and maybe these.

Never assume

2011-04-15T15:11:00.001-04:00

There is a house for sale in our neighborhood that's been on the market for two and a half years. A long time by anyone's standards. When we decided to list our house I, of course, felt the need to research this property extensively, profiling it as our competition and finding ways to out-sell it. When I looked online I instantly assumed an older couple lived there as the house hadn't seen many updates or changes in quite a few years. It was cluttered and outdated and I wondered why the people who lived there wouldn't put more time and effort into making it look nicer. We wondered why these people kept their house on the market all this time--couldn't they see it wasn't going to sell? Then yesterday Madelyn and I were out taking our nightly walk and I saw the lady who lived in that house out mowing the yard. She wasn't old, nor was she unkempt. In fact, she was quite pretty, and probably in her mid thirties. I stopped to introduce myself as I've been randomly known to do, and asked her what the activity had been like on her house since we were trying to sell as well. Turns out she bought the house with her husband, they had a sweet little boy, and her husband passed away leaving her this large yard and house, not to mention their child, to care for singlehandedly. You could practically hear my stomach drop. Here I had spent all this time making judgements about the people in this house who I didn't even know and the lady living there was the sweetest, kindest person you could imagine. And she is a single mom. A widow. All I could think to do was tell her that if she ever gets in a bind and needs something, she can always come to our house for help. And I hope her house sells. In fact I hope it sells before ours. She's facing a burden everyday she physically and emotionally can't manage and she clearly needs a break. And I clearly needed a kick in the butt. And the heart. And I got it, loud and clear.

Tissue please

2011-04-14T09:45:00.003-04:00

Found this image yesterday and literally started crying. Not that crying is a rare occurance these days, but I just found this so touching and it reminded me that while being a parent is this crazy, confusing, exhausting job, it is the BEST job. And I'm a lucky mama.

Deep Thoughts w/ Jenn

2011-04-11T16:26:00.004-04:00

Do you remember that skit from old school Saturday Night Live? So funny. This is my version of deep thoughts though I'll warn you none of them are very deep at all. In fact they're just a few quick bullets about my life right now because this is how my mind is working at the moment.

I think what this baby is padding to my backside is being sucked from my brain because I am quickly becoming the most forgetful person I know. I've gotten in the car three times in the past few weeks ready to drive somewhere without keys.

Did you hear Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are touring together this summer? If you're anything like me there is a 16-year-old inside you dying to stalk ticketmaster for these tickets and start mentally planning your outfit for the big reunion. I'm a slave for you Britney. I am.

I have ezcema. I thought it was a random rash but it's not. And the only place it appears is my face. Given that I'm knocked up I can't exactly use the super-strong dermatologist-issued cream (which could not only possibly harm the baby but completely undue all of the goodness that comes from my using all-natural body products), so per Kristin's advice I went an alternate route and gave up gluten and dairy for a week. And wouldn't you know the darn rash went away almost immediately. Much to my dismay, because these were two food groups I did not want to give up. But, I'm only eating this way 80% of the time and still my face has remained clear. Oh and I should note, I don't care how much gluten or dairy are in white chocolate dove promises because I'm going to eat one every day no matter what.

This week we're eating these and these, in case you're interested. I can attest that both are very very yummy. I'm also challenging myself to completely clear out the fridge, freezer, and pantry before we do any major grocery shopping again. This may make for some interesting meals. Oh, and I don't really have a pantry but it is on my must have wish list for our next house. Whenever this supposed house may come along.

We found out today what the sex of our sweet baby is. But I can't tell you yet, because we're announcing it at Madelyn's birthday party next Saturday. I will say baby 2 was very busy moving their mouth, arms, and legs and it was truly awe-inspiring.

We're laying sod in our backyard this week. And by "we" I mean "Matt and his friends" which I will gladly thank with pizza and cold beer. I can't wait for Madelyn to have a real backyard to play in instead of a mess of leaves and weeds!

I think I may be addicted to chocolate.

See...I told you they weren't deep...

Things your kids do to embarrass you

2011-04-04T11:10:00.006-04:00

I happened to catch a clip of Katie Holmes on the Ellen show last week talking about a recent incident with Suri and a box of x-rated gummies. You may have heard about it as somehow this little story captured widespread media attention with headlines like "Wildly Funny or Wildly Inappropriate?" and quickly attacked Katie for her lack of judgement.

Katie and Suri were at Serendipity in New York City getting ice cream (a family establishment mind you) and Suri grabbed a box of x-rated man gummies, to which Katie said "no honey, those aren't Swedish fish" and quickly put them back. But not fast enough for the swarm of paparazzi to snap pictures of Suri red handed.

How could anyone seriously call this inappropriate? Do you really think Katie would hand her child a box of phallic-shaped gummies with a money-hungry flash mob just steps away? I would bet a copious sum of money that the person ridiculing Katie Holmes for this lack of parental judgement doesn't have children. Because if they did they would know that you cannot control every single thing your children do, nor should you want to. And everyone has been embarrassed by their children at one point or another. It's not like she was carrying her around the Scores gift shop for crying out loud.

Good for Katie for laughing it off. Though the real laugh will probably be had by Suri in about 15 years.

Sweatin' it

2011-03-30T09:23:00.005-04:00

I work out at home. Some people think this is lame, but it's perfect for me. I don't waste 20 minutes driving to and from the gym, and more importantly, Madelyn doesn't sit in a gym daycare while mommy sweats it out on a stairmaster. I'm away from her too much as it is, the last thing she needs is TWO daycares in the course of the day.

Plus, when you workout at home you have no excuses. I mean really, who can't find 20 minutes to turn on a DVD?

I thought given all the yucky rainy weather we've been having you may like a few suggestions of my favorite at-home workouts. Obviously when it's nice out we get out and walk or jog, but I think these workouts offer other fitness elements that are really important, especially for women.

1. Body by Bethenny. I know, I know. She's a Bravo reality star. But before you completely discredit her, many people don't know that well before she was on Real Housewives she was a natural foods chef for many celebrities and has done yoga for 20 years. And we've all seen her body. So, that's enough evidence for me. Plus the video is co-hosted by Kristin McGhee who is a yoga industry pro. The video is primarily yoga but there is a great 15 minute weight segment at the end and then a 5 minute "booty bonus" after that. To me the workout is just hard enough to know you're really accomplishing something but not so difficult that you want to die. I like.

2. Another yoga pick- Yogalosophy. I've written about this one before so I won't go into too much detail, but it's by Jennifer Aniston's yoga guru Mandy Ingber who is both likable and situated on something high overlooking the ocean which I find instantly calming. This is really a yoga hybrid workout in that you hold a yoga pose then transition into a core strength move--lunges, squats, pushups, etc. Basic moves, but reinforcing large muscle groups.

3. Jillian's 30 day shred. This is a great 20 minute workout. Seriously, it's only 20 minutes. And it's hard. Matt and I did this together a lot before I got pregnant and I swear this is partly how I lost the baby weight from Madelyn. You use light weights to transition from strength moves to cardio and then abs in three separate circuits without taking a break. It has three different levels but I can only attest for two. I'm pretty sure had I attempted level three it would have included resuscitation via chest paddles. Like I said, it's hard but it works.

4. Elle Beauty Sculpt with Brooklyn Decker. This one is new to me as I just did it for the first time the other night. It's a basic weights workout but you move quickly and will definitely be out of breath. What I like most about it is I thought it was primarily focused on arms but I can't remember the last time my butt was this sore, and looking at Brooklyn Decker you can't help but want to workout. Plus I like her because I've always been a fan of her hubs Andy Roddick. In fact I'm quite certain we were born in the same month in the same hospital in Omaha, Nebraska. That's right, I was born in Omaha. Nebraska. Ever heard of it?

Hopefully that inspires you to squeeze in a quick sweat-session before American Idol tonight! I typically workout as soon as we put Madelyn down so I have the rest of the night free. I try to do yoga twice a week because it has amazing benefits for our mind and body, weights twice a week because I want to tone up, and then walk the other days. It's a good balance, and it keeps me from getting bored.

Go forth and sweat, girls!!

Things I'm loving right now

2011-03-29T16:27:00.003-04:00

The Help. I'm about 2/3 of the way through and it is so good. I suppose you shouldn't judge a book until the end but I am really enjoying this one. I especially love all of the references to life in the "old south"--minus slavery, obviously.

This quote: "There is no such thing as savers remorse" which I'm told came from an ING billboard. Brilliant.

My Wednesday evening. Specifically, the time I'll be spending at the W Hotel/Bliss Spa having a 75 (75!) minute prenatal massage and 30 minute hair and scalp treatment. I scored a totally amazing deal off of Travelzoo one day and am basically getting all of the above for a mere fraction of the actual price. I plan to get there early, lounge in a comfy robe, and soak it all in as long as I can. Oh, and I also love hydrangeas. Always, not just right now.

This outfit. Even though Katie holmes does kind of seem like a pre-recorded monotone version of her former self, the girl can dress.

This table setting by Christi at Grey Umbrella. It's going to serve as my inspiration for Madelyn's second birthday party coming up in April.

Oh, and how could I forget, FOOD! The stomach virus has officially left the building and I can eat again. Oh joyous day :)

Hope you're all having a great week so far!

Sleepless nights

2011-03-25T09:55:00.001-04:00

This week has been a week of sleepless nights in the Marden household, so please excuse my lack of posts. And please also excuse if this post doesn't make sense, I'm only half conscious at the moment.

Madelyn had her first official asthma attack. It lasted from Friday until Wednesday. And then, because things were becoming too routine and predictable, she suddenly came down with a stomach virus around 7 p.m. on Wednesday night. Aside from the lack of sleep this means for me I absolutely hate to see her uncomfortable or not feeling well. So, if sleeping with me helps her feel better and get some rest so be it.

Now, Madelyn hasn't slept with me EVER until this week. Not when she was a newborn. Not when she had RSV or pneumonia. And not even on those nights I was having an emotional mommy moment and just wanted to cuddle her to death. It was important to me that she learn to be independent and sleep in her own space. And until now it worked.

But since Monday night she's been sleeping cuddled up right next to me. I can hear every breath and make sure she's ok. She wakes up just to give me a kiss then goes right back to sleep. It's pretty much my version of ooey gooey bliss. But it's time to stop and go back to normal. Mama needs some sleep.

So last night I tried letting her cry when she woke up. It didn't go well. Approximately 40 minutes later I gave in (I know, I know) and brought her in me, just further perpetuating the cycle. She slept like a log. I can't say the same.

Tonight I'm trying a new approach. When I put her in her crib I'm giving her a pillow wrapped in a shirt of mine so it smells like me. It feels vaguely similar to training a new puppy to sleep in his crate at night but I'm hoping it turns out to be my golden ticket to a night of restful bliss. And if she cries, she cries.

I figure it's better than spiking her juice with Benadryl or introducing Matt to the concept of the "family bed". I mean, aren't those the only feasible alternatives?!

In the name of saving money

2011-03-17T15:10:00.003-04:00

Oh the things we do to save a buck.

So with another bambino on the way, and sheer increased financial awareness, Matt and I decided to cut back on some of our expenses. The first thing we did was axe our current cable provider, Comcast, to go with DirectTV which was HALF the price. We get the same channels, the same DVR, and HD (which I really only care about during football season), so it seemed like a bit of a no-brainer.

Before I could say "how do I set the DVR for Bethenny Ever After" they were out here installing everything in a mad fury. And this is where they put the heinous monstrosity that is our satellite dish. Why? Because this is where we had signal. Really? REALLY?! Do you see it? It's that large appendage on the side of my house.

Don't they know I am form over function? I don't give a crap how something works as long as it looks good. This looks ---not good---for the sake of not using an expletive. UGH. I am actually sweating now I am so mad at myself. Why didn't I stand out there an supervise their every move? Whhhyyyyy???!!!

And now, for a grand total savings of $65 a month I get to stare at this every.single.day.

Fighting sugar with sugar

2011-03-15T21:20:00.002-04:00

I confess...I've eaten way WAY too much sugar since I found out I was pregnant. It's like healthy me left the reservation and sugar-dependent me took residence against my will. Partly against my will? Ok fine, I didn't put up much of a fight.

So last week I really hit a wall. I wasn't feeling good about myself and I knew it was all mental. I knew I wasn't taking care of myself and therefore I literally saw myself getting bigger everytime I walked past a mirror. So I cut back. And I started working out again. And suddenly, I looked just a little bit slimmer in those God-forsaken mirrored closet doors in our bedroom (why oh why are those still there?)

So this week I made a deal with myself. If I limit the treats this week then come Saturday I can have a small Chick Fil A milkshake. That's what I've really been wanting, but instead I've been mindlessly eating everything else made available to me. Really, shouldn't I just hold out for the creamy goodness I've been craving? Some may call this counterproductive but I dare you to tell a pregnant woman that her logic is illogical.

Today we had birthday cake at the office. I did not partake. Duh, winning! (You can thank Charlie Sheen for that one). Chick Fil A here I come.

Batch Cooking = Easy Week

2011-03-14T21:35:00.003-04:00

This weekend decided to employ my almost two-year-old sous chef and try a new approach to cooking.

Our weeks are crazy. I rush home from work, try to get something decently tasty and healthy on the table for dinner, rush to clean up, do the nighttime routine with Madelyn, then melt onto the couch. I'm sick of rushing.

So we are trying batch cooking, also sometimes referred to as freezer cooking. So far, so good. Granted, cooking with Madelyn is a very messy and often patience-trying exercise, but well worth it to see the fun she has.

Here are a few of the things we whipped up. I do have a few pictures but I'm too lazy to get up and download them. Sorry. Lazy bum here.

First we made this white chicken chili. Madelyn and Matt both loooove this. I put half of it in the fridge for dinners and lunches this week and froze the other half in a ziploc freezer bag for later on in the month. All I'll have to do is move it to the fridge the morning we want to eat it and not rush over to the microwave to heat it up. Brilliant.

Next I made a batch of these muffins using fresh blueberries. Again, I kept half in the fridge for breakfasts and froze the other half. This blog has a TON of freezer recipes, tips, meal plans, etc. This wonder woman actually does all of her cooking for the month in one day. I find this staggering but inspiring.

Then we made this pasta bake. I love this because Madelyn gobbles it up-spinach and all.

I also seasoned some ground turkey for salads and tacos. These items along with what we already had in our freezer (tilapia, ground beef, veggies, potstickers,etc) should get us through the next few weeks. With our new budget challenge I'm trying to use everything we have before we make another big trip to the grocery store.

I also have a few other recipes on my radar I'd like to make in the coming weeks to freeze and reheat.

Christi's taco soup and homemade granola

Spinach feta turkey burgers

And a whole bunch of pre-marinaded chicken that you just have to thaw and grill. This would be great to have on hand for salads, fajitas, wraps, etc.

Oh, and maybe some pineapple zuccini bread from Katie Lee's first cookbook that I LOVE.

Alone Time

2011-03-11T15:24:00.003-05:00

To me, alone time is critical. I think really it is for everyone. Sometimes once Madelyn is down I just want to go upstairs and sit in bed and read magazines. Or watch Extreme Couponing on TLC (holy food hoarders—has anyone seen this show?) Alone time is good in small doses. This week I'm planning to use my alone time to actually get something accomplished. Imagine that.

In fact, I have a whole list of projects to work on at night when little miss is sleeping.

Here's what I plan to try and accomplish over the next two weeks. Wish me luck (and energy)!

- Clean out the guest closet since that's where Madelyn will be moving in the coming months
- Clean out Madelyn's closet, pull out all non-fitting clothes and put in bin in garage
- Plan her second birthday party
- Cook! We're going to cook all day this Sunday. I let Madelyn stand on a chair and help me stir and she absolutely loves it. Except she eats copious amounts of whatever we're cooking so I have to watch what is in it. We're going to make enough food for the next two weeks and freeze half for later.
- Organize my recipe binder. (Take a moment to reflect on what a huge nerd I am.)
- Work on our budget. Yes, this is as glamorous as it sounds. But in an effort to save some extra money we're tightening the purse strings a bit. Luckily I love budgeting and playing with numbers so this isn't as much of a chore as it sounds.

- Make a contingency plan. If our house doesn't sell, how do we best accomodate the bambinos and guests in our three bedroom house? I am fully open to suggestions on this one people.

On another note, Madelyn has become surprisingly self sufficient these days. She even takes care of her mommy. The other morning at breakfast she gave me part of her waffle and said "Mommy eat more." I tried to explain to her that mommy doesn't need to eat more mommy needs to eat less, but this reasoning was lost in translation. Then a bit later she told me to take a nap and she brought me a blanket and my phone. Apparently it hasn't gone unnoticed that I have a minor blackberry dependence. Or the need for an occasional cat nap.

Tea party, anyone?

2011-03-08T15:31:00.002-05:00

Christi at Grey Umbrella does one of my favorite blog posts every week. She calls it Tea on Tuesday and in it she gives us an honest account of what's on her mind and her heart that week. To me, in a world where everyone is trying to act like they've got it all together, I find this kind of honesty refreshing and inspiring. So this week, I'm joining in! Welcome to tea at my little blog house.

Please come in and have a seat on the couch with the really soft bamboo cotton blanket we got as a wedding gift. Throw off your shoes and relax. I'm serving black and green tea with a small side of red velvet cupcakes. Or maybe King cake in honor of Mardi Gras. Rest assured you can count on some sugar.

As we sat talking I'd probably tell you that I'm about to jump out of my skin trying to sell this house, and I'm having major contentment issues. I don't know if it's the part of me that wants to nest, or the part that just can't give up control, but for some reason I'm having a really (really) difficult time handing this one over to God and trusting that everything will happen the exact way it's supposed to. After all, it always does, right? RIGHT?!

I'd probably also confess that I've been extremely hard on Matt lately. Yesterday I actually had to apologize for being such a raging bitch, and I'm pretty sure those two words have never come out of my mouth. I think this happened immediately after I realized the only stretch marks I got in my first pregnancy, those located in the very conspicuous upper-butt vicinity, have reappeared. How has my butt already realized I'm pregnant? This wasn't supposed to happen for several more months.

I'd tell you that we have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that will hopefully give us the green light to share our happy news and it's pretty much all I can think about.

I'd also share that this week I'm trying to be more patient and bite my tongue when I don't have something constructive to say. I'm trying to not eat so many sweets (with the exception of our tea party which is clearly a special occasion), to do yoga, and to soak up every last minute with Madelyn before I have to divide my attention between two kiddos. It amazes me that she truly gets sweeter every single day.

What's going on with you this week? Link up over at Christi's page and indulge me—I'm a very good listener :)

image from here

Bump Watch 2011

2011-03-02T10:47:00.005-05:00

I thought it was probably time I update you on my pregnancy. You know, because details about my expanding girth, lethargy, and food aversions are universally exciting :) Don't worry, I'll keep it short and sweet.

Here are the high (and low) lights:

I am deathly afraid to be weighed at my 11-week appointment next Wednesday. My appetite is rivaling that of world champion hot dog eater Kobiyashi, except instead of hot dogs all I want are carbs. I think this, along with the fact that I have already completely lost my waistline, is evidence that our newest bambino is not of the female gender.
So far I've craved ranch dressing and pepperoni. Not together, but separately, and often.
I can't even think about eating my beloved snap pea crisps. They are dead to me.
In the past two days I've gotten my energy back and I am THRILLED! Yesterday I went for a long walk and the endorphins from that alone did wonders for my brain. For the past few weeks I'd felt like an empty shell of myself from complete exhaustion, but now I'm back! Matt is probably more excited than me, because this means he won't have to do everything at night while I lay on the couch like a lifeless blob.
I really wish I had some pepperoni right now.
I can't wait to see our sweet new baby on that ultrasound machine next week. I just hope and pray everything is ok.
I'm doing lunges and squats every single night. If I can't have my belly, at least my legs can look halfway decent!

image from here

Spring---is that you?!?!

2011-02-28T15:01:00.005-05:00

The weather here in Atlanta has been absolutely incredible lately! My mom was in town for the weekend and we took full advantage by spending as much time as possible outside.

On Saturday we packed up all of Madelyn's necessary accouterments and headed out to Serenbe, a precious little farm community about 30 minutes from our house. Serenbe is a large community that aims to be fully sustainable- all homes are green certified, the restaurants mainly serve food grown there on the grounds, and there is even an adorable B&B. And let me tell you, the restaurants are excellent, and I can't ever help but ooh and aah over the farmy-chic decor.

First we had lunch at The Hil restaurant. Yum. Then we headed over to the B&B which has tons of outdoor recreation to encourage you not to stay in your room and watch TV and instead enjoy the farm lifestyle. The highlight was this super fun in-ground trampoline. Madelyn didn't know what to think but she had a ball.

Then we walked the grounds "talking" to all of the animals--baby sheep, chickens, horses, bunnies, goats, an alpaca, a donkey, and a big ugly hog.

On Sunday we did a little bit of shopping then played around in the yard until it was time to take Gigi to the airport. Here is Madelyn modeling her new dress. I really can't believe how cute she is.

Really.

Sentences

2011-02-24T14:24:00.002-05:00

All of the sudden Madelyn is speaking in near sentences and every time she does it I am just so surprised and proud. Like last night at dinner for example. I asked her what she did at school that day.

Her reply?

"I play Chelsea poop"

And indeed she did.

Apparently her BFF Chelsea went to the corner of the playground, took off her diaper, did her business and proceeded to rub it all over her body. Madelyn obviously wants to do everything Chelsea does, so she followed suit. What followed was a full bath for both of them and mommy being given a trash bag full of defiled clothes to take home. In addition to a lovely conversation over tilapia and green beans about how it is not appropriate to play in any sort of excrement.

Recent acquisitions

2011-02-23T10:56:00.004-05:00

This pregnancy has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I am ravenously hungry all the time, yet simultaneously nauseous all day long. I am putting on weight like it is nobody's business. And I am flat out exhausted, though apparently not so much that I can't eat. Or shop. At this point we're just down to the essentials.

In light of this, I thought I'd share a few new fun things I've purchased or been given.

First, Matt and I purchased these gorgeous leather chairs to take the place of the heinous and largely- oversized love seat in our living room. In our next house they may move to his office but for now they'll be perfect for the room where we spend all our time. We all know I'm a sucker for anything with nailhead trim, and my Dad actually subsidized them as part of our Christmas gift that we're just getting around to buying. We also got them for half off due to a sale price and family connection in the furniture dept. Score.

Baggu Bags. You may remember these from a recent post over at Urban Grace. I should note that if you aren't reading UG's blog you are seriously missing out. Tons of gorge interior eye candy and gratuitious shots of her beautiful little girl. Love. Anyways, Kristin has a weird knack for reading my mind and just knew when I saw this post that my hippie side would be wanting some of these reusable bags. Sure enough, she got me a set of three for my birthday! In the blue stripes no less. So chic.

Then last week I picked up this shirt at Gap for $6.

And lastly, I bought this print a few months ago but forgot to share and I'm so in love with it I thought better late than never! It's from tastes orangey on Etsy and it's going to serve as the inspiration pic for Madelyn's big girl room. I'm thinking blues, grays, and tiny pops of orange. Not only does Claire paint gorgeous pictures, she ships them with this incredible hand-painted packaging and a hand-written note. Love love love her. I plan to hopefully purchase a few more prints from her.

Happy shopping everyone! I need to get back to trying to figure out how I can simultaneously eat and sleep at the same time. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Sweet as sugar

2011-02-14T10:41:00.005-05:00

Happy (slightly tardy) Valentine's Day!

Madelyn and I started our day off yesterday with a fancy cereal breakfast and surprise cards from Matt in the kitchen waiting for us when we got downstairs. Madelyn immediately tore into her super cool 3D card, ripped it in half, then said "uh oh Mommy, broke it". She's a very hands-on child :)

Hopefully she didn't rip in to the cute treats we got for her friends at school before they could enjoy them!

We wrapped up our Valentine's Day extravaganza (and I use that word lightly) with a little trip to the 'ol IHOP. Eggs and pancakes and kids eat free. Can't get much more romantic than that ;)

Holy Hormones

2011-02-10T09:47:00.002-05:00

Last night Matt and I got into a serious argument over the remote control. Aside from the disappointment that comes from becoming such a marked cliche comes the realization that I have completely lost control over my hormones, and therefore my mind, mouth, and actions.

Yikes.

I got so frustrated and annoyed that I unlocked the front door and was seconds away from throwing the damn thing into the yard and making Matt go survey the dark, wet grass for it. And unfortunately that's not an exaggeration.

A few minutes later when we had cooled down I warned him that he really shouldn't get me all riled up like that because at this point I refuse to be accountable for my actions. I don't necessarily think it's fair, but he got off easy when I was pregnant with Madelyn--I didn't
act irrationally, I never sent him out at midnight for Chinese food, and I lost all the baby weight (and then some). You're welcome!

I should probably have a bumper sticker on my car (or forehead) that says "Pregnant: If provoked will retaliate." I'm pretty sure no one would mess with me. Or at least in my defense I could say they'd received fair warning.

Testing

2011-02-06T22:16:00.007-05:00

One morning a few weeks ago (January 26th to be exact) I awoke to a blinding migraine. I rarely get headaches so it struck me as a bit odd. Matt and I had decided a few months back to start trying for another baby, and knowing I hadn't been on the pill I thought it would be wise to take a precautionary pregnancy test before I popped the extra strength Motrin.

Imagine my surprise when it was positive.

So was the next one.

And the next three I took that morning.

I took five pregnancy tests in the course of two hours, each more shocking than the last.

We were extremely blessed with the ease in which we conceived Madelyn but I never thought we'd get that lucky twice. I have friends who have or had trouble conceiving, so I'm not immune to the fact that getting pregnant naturaly and easily is truly a miracle.

We called the doctor, made our first appointment for when I would be seven weeks, and reported as scheduled. That appointment was today.

I'd been extremely nervous for reasons I can't explain. I think the first time around you're so naive and shocked you don't know what to expect, but this time I was cautious and concerned. In fact, I literally took a pregnancy test every three days until the appointment to make sure everything was still ok. I even took them out of town with me. It became a serious issue.

Today we saw a throbbing heartbeat on a little body that is currently only a quarter of an inch long, and which can be seen below. He/she is the little peanut-shaped body on the left.

We set another appointment for four weeks down the road at which point I'll be 11 weeks. And until then, we just pray that everything is ok.

I am excited, a little anxious, always somewhat nauseous, and extremely lucky :)

My Girls

2011-02-02T20:15:00.003-05:00

These are my girls. And as you get older, the importance of your girl friends becomes increasingly apparrent.Truth be told, these girls aren't just my friends, they're my family.

Time with them can rejuvinate me. It can help me with my abs, which usually ache from endless laughing. It can humble me. And it can remind me how lucky I am to have found them.

A few weeks ago Megan and Dai came up from Florida to spend the weekend in the ATL with me and Kristin. We try to do a girl's weekend once a year, and it's very sweet of them to come up this way since I have a certain two-year-old travel accessory that makes it slightly more difficult to cross state lines. Plus, it gives Madelyn a chance to see her crazy aunts, which is how I've decided I'm going to refer to them.

These girls let me sleep in their beds when I had eccentric ~~crazy~~ random roomates in college. They danced to ridiculous songs at my wedding and they've humored me every.single.time I've requested someone play "pour some sugar on me"in the past 11 years. They may know me better than Matt. But please don't tell him that.

They spoil Madelyn like she is already one of the girls and I can't wait to hear what stories they tell her when she gets older.

They're the people who will be drinking champagne and telling funny stories at my funeral because they know that's what I'd want.

They're my drinking buddies. My eternal road trip companions. The first people I call when something good (or bad) happens.

We've transitioned from babies on a campus of 40,000 people, to young professionals that never really felt like it, to fiances and wives, and now some of us to mothers. As many life changes as we experience, and we've covered some big ones in the past decade, the person I am when I'm with them is the most authentic version of my true self, and I thank them for bringing that out of me.

Bragging Rights

2011-01-31T16:02:00.004-05:00

You won't be hearing much from me this week because I'll be here. My very kind boss (with excellent taste-obviously) has picked this location for our annual leadership team offsite. Yes it's directly on the beach in California. And yes, the entire thing looks EXACTLY like the beach house from Something's Gotta Give. Really, I'm picking my jaw up off the floor at every turn.

It is beach chic at it's absolute best.

Truth be told, I've been running around like a shopping addict at an outlet mall since I got here taking pictures of everything on my phone because I FORGOT MY CAMERA. So lame.

Highlights from the past week

2011-01-25T20:23:00.004-05:00

Madelyn finally lets me put bows in her hair. As long as I sneak up behind her and she doesn't see me. And no one mentions the word "bow" which instantly prompts her to reach up, yank it out, then look at me like "how the heck did this get here?"

The same child also greeted me without a stitch of clothing on yesterday morning when I went to get her up for school. My little escape artist thought it was hysterical that she had figured out how to take her jammies off all by herself. It was cute, but her ability to outsmart me is becoming increasingly alarming.

Last week at my birthday lunch with Matt's family I had a few sips of a Krispy Kreme MILKSHAKE. You heard me. It tasted like a cold and creamy donut hot off the press. It should require 9 hail Marys and a 10k jog to make up for the way I felt after drinking it. Sinful, happy, and fat.

I'm going to Santa Monica for work next week. We're holding a meeting at a gorgeous upscale resort directly on the beach. I'm slightly excited.

I saw Eat Pray Love a few weeks ago. It was not good.

We saw No Strings Attached on Saturday and it was surprisingly good.

I am completely ob-sessed with these snap pea crisps. I eat them constantly. If you're interested, they're cheapest at Trader Joe's. Tell them I sent you ;)

29

2011-01-18T11:56:00.003-05:00

Today I turn 29.

I spent part of yesterday celebrating thanks to a work holiday (appreciate that, Martin) and plan to spend tonight at home cuddled on the couch with my two favorite people.

I've never been a huge birthday person. I get why it's celebrated, but I never wanted a big to-do.

I do though, given its proximity to New Years, think my birthday is an excellent time to reflect on what I want the coming year to look like.

So here are a few notes for what I look forward to in my last year as a twenty-something.

To:

send more handwritten notes and less emails

take a family vacation to the beach

eat more greens and less sugar

take Madelyn to the zoo

spend more time outdoors

have candlelit dinners

take joy in the now and worry less about what's to come

read more books and less facebook status updates

buy fresh cut flowers

save more and buy less

trust in God's plan and quit trying to make my own

be grateful

do my nails and (seriously) quit picking my cuticles

do more pilates

listen to good music I actually like and less radio I don't

be tolerant

image from here

Cut the Crap: My Inspiration

2011-01-13T11:01:00.010-05:00

A few months ago I found this great blog called Makeunder My Life. It's written by a girl named Jessica who got her start in the blog world by showing people how to simplify their life and design it with intention and purpose, and who also happens to be a very talented jewelry designer.

Organization and jewelry? A girl after my own heart.

You can imagine that when I found this blog it was like I had just found the Clinton to my Stacy. "I'm not the only one who thinks these things!" I thought. And I read on. And on. And on. Back through her many archives full of great ideas and inspiration.

This morning I was browsing through my google reader and happened upon this gem from Miss Jessica's site:
I couldn't have said it better myself.

I highly recommend you check out this page and learn more ways to Cut the Crap from your own life. Her vision board particularly stuck with me because it's near identical to what I would make for myself. All it's missing is a few tiny footprints and a sweet husband to share my wine with.

And if you happen to divert over to her jewelry shop as I so often do, my birthday is next week and I really wouldn't mind one of these.

Honey, are you reading??

Baby it's freakin freezing cold outside

2011-01-10T09:43:00.007-05:00

When I moved to Atlanta I didn't realize that even though it was a short 6-hour drive from my hometown of Orlando, I was moving to a drastically different weather pattern. I arrived armed with flip flops in every shade of the rainbow and a light fall jacket convinced it would be adequate. Seriously, the only closed-toe shoes I had were my tennis shoes.

Now here I am, 6 years later, and I have boots, coats, scarves, gloves, and an elementary education in driving on ice. All of which come in handy on days like these.

Behold, the snow day:

Winter weather advisory in effect due to snow and ice, and we've been advised to stay off the roads until tomorrow afternoon.

Notice we literally probably got 1" of snow at our house but we're expected to have the most ice of anywhere in the city. We didn't exactly get the best end of that deal.

So, the monkey and I are holed up in the house hibernating in our jammies and eating mac and cheese. So far we've spent a lot of time playing at our new kitchen and nursing runny noses.

This afternoon we have a packed agenda that consists of playing blocks, taking naps, and watching Finding Nemo and Oprah. It's going to be a busy day.

Hope you are all safe and warm wherever you are!

I'm calling AARP

2011-01-05T11:30:00.001-05:00

You know you're getting older when an impulsive late-night shopping spree yields these "goodies":

Behold the purchases who's arrival I'm excitedly anticipating: a Shark steam mop, a Kurv (i.e. a glorified dust buster), and a jumbo box of diapers sent to my front door that I didn't have to go to Target to get.

I think I need to get on Nordstrom.com and order something obnoxious and overpriced so I know that I'm still breathing.

Cut the Crap II: The Purge

2011-01-03T10:17:00.010-05:00

Cut the Crap Part II: The Purge

This segment in Cut the Crap is about The Purge. This is the first step in making your life cleaner, more organized, and definitely less-stress. I think oftentimes people don't realize the mental "space" having extra stuff takes up in their life. For example, when you're looking for something specific but you have to plow through drawers and cabinets of things you don't even like or use just to find said item, you end up annoyed and in the process waste 15 minutes. Or when you're trying to get dressed for work and you're rifling through a closet full of clothes and can't find a single thing to wear, you begin your day frustrated and negative. Sound familiar? Sound like fun? I don't think so either.

As someone who is an admitted purge-a-holic, this is my plan for ridding your life of the unnecessary extras, leaving you with just those items you need and love, and more time to enjoy your life.

1. Take 20 minutes each night this week and tackle one room. Don't overwhelm yourself with trying to de-clutter your entire house in one evening, just do one room each night. Go through every.single.thing in every drawer, closet, cabinet, vase, etc... If it's not moving (i.e. your husband, child, or pet) it should be examined. For each item, ask yourself two questions:

"Do I use this?" And "Do I love this?"

If you haven't used it in the past year, you aren't going to. And if you don't love it, why do you waste time every week dusting it? Anything that doesn't fall into these categories should go to Goodwill.

This includes ~~ugly~~ gifts that you perhaps don't want but have kept out of guilt, cookbooks you don't use, DVDs you don't watch, games you don't play, books you've read and have no use for, etc...

I did my own purge recently--what the heck am I saying, I do one every month--and cleared out TWO trunks full of stuff: two bags of clothes, serving tray I've never used in three years, diapers that don't fit Madelyn, books, frames, candlesticks, toys that we don't need (i.e. the 39th stuffed animal in the closet), etc etc.

Afterwards I felt lighter, more efficient, and happy for having helped others who will shop for these things at Goodwill, get an excellent deal, and love them the way I never could!

2. Now, it's time for your closet. And this one may take a while. I would spend an hour or maybe even two going through your entire closet one evening. I'd also bring a nice bottle of white, light a candle, and think about who's style you admire. For me, I'm a huge Reese Witherspoon fan. She can do no fashion wrong in my eyes. So when I'm going through my closet assessing what I do and don't need, I think of her style. It's simple, polished, a little trendy, but mostly classic. Try every single thing on and ask yourself these questions:

Do I FEEL good in this? Do I look good? Have I worn it in the last 12 months? Does it fit my "vision" for how I want to be perceived?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, it goes. And don't be dramatic about it, just put it in the donate pile. They're just clothes. And trust me, you'll feel better when you know you have a closet full of items that you love. It will take you half the time to get dressed.

3. And lastly- pictures. I think part of the problem people get so behind on printing and organizing their photos is that there are waaaay toooo many! We do not need 13 pictures of the same thing, pictures with blurs, copious pictures of inanimate objects, or pictures that aren't even that good. Pick your absolute favorite pictures from each event and delete the rest. Then give these some meaning- put them into an album, frame them in your house, anything. No one, even your children, is going to want to flip through 19 pages of pictures from "that one time we went to the pumpkin patch!" It's much more impactful to just show those that really capture the event.

Disclaimer: I realize that I, by nature, am a purger, and not everyone is like this. There are times that Matt is genuinely afraid he's the next item to be dropped off at to Goodwill (most of the time this is not true.) But the reason I'm this way is that I believe life is too short and our time is too precious to surround ourselves with anything less than the best. You don't get to enjoy the things you love the most when they're surrounded by things you could care less about.

So go forth and purge! You'll reclaim time and maybe even a better attitude in the process ;)

image from here

Cut the Crap I: Streamline Your Life

2010-12-30T10:07:00.003-05:00

Cut the Crap part 1: Streamline Your Life

image from here

I'm starting a new series called Cut the Crap. It's really for my benefit, but I'm hoping it can help some of you who may be in the spirit of "I am tired of feeling stressed and rushed every second of every day and I need somewhere to focus my controlling energy!"

No? Just me?

Well either way, I find the start of a new year the best time to simplify life. The daily processes that sometimes bog us down in very mundane and un-exciting ways; the over abundance of "stuff" that surrounds us that we aren't sure what to do with; those parts of life.

This is the first order of Marden family business in 2011.

One thing I struggle with is constantly feeling like I have errands to run. There is always that one extra thing we need from the grocery store, or we're out of diapers, or it's so and so's birthday at work and I completely forgot. And when you have a little one and you work full-time, the one thing you don't have a lot of is spare time, and what you do have you want to spend with your family. Not behind someone with 27 things in the express lane at Publix.

So, here are a few things I've started doing and hope to do this year to keep things running smoothly, and to give me back some time. Hopefully you find these helpful too.

1. We all have smart phones by now, so let's use them. I created a contact card in my blackberry contacts called Store List. In it I have a section for the grocery store, Target, and Costco. Any time I think of something I need at one of these places I immediately I add it here, then it's always with me at the store. I add it right then or I swear it's gone from my brain. Plus, this is much more efficient than keeping a list at home because you don't always remember to carry that with you.

2. At the beginning of every month Matt and I are going to sit down and talk through what we have going on that month, from both a social and financial perspective. We're going to plan our budget based on specific expenses for that month which may include car repairs, hair cuts, etc, and also so that I can go ahead and think of any gifts, cards, etc. I need to pick up at the store.

3. I'm starting to grocery shop and menu plan for two weeks at a time instead of one. I hate (seriously, hate) having to run to the store to get one or two things. It drives me bananas. And, I'm starting to hate grocery shopping because it's become a bit of a time sink. Doing this gives me at least an hour back. On top of this, I cook and prep most of our food on Sunday. That way all I have to do the remaining days is heat it up or throw it together. Because coming home to a whiny, hungry baby and no idea what to cook for dinner at the end of the day is not my idea of bliss. And no amount of wine can fix that.

4. Keep a shopping bag in the trunk of your car for things you no longer use, and when it's full drop it by Goodwill. Example: When you take a top out of your closet to wear on three separate occasions but never actually leave the house in it because something isn't right, it needs to go in this bag. Right then. Don't come back to it later and create more work for yourself. I'll elaborate more on this later as it's a subject near and dear to my nerdy minimalist heart.

5. And finally, I've put together a list of the must-have items we rely on weekly if not daily that I like to make sure we have on hand. Before I head to the store I'll check to make sure these are present so we don't run out mid-week. This includes things like dish detergent, diapers, toothpaste, etc...don't hesitate to add things like wine, chocolate, or an anti-stress detoxifying face mask. I won't judge.

Here's to less stress in 2o11!

As promised...

2010-12-29T10:04:00.005-05:00

As promised, here are pictures from our Christmas. Notice we did not get one single good family picture. I guess the 976 pictures of Madelyn will just have to do.

We kicked off Christmas Eve with a lunch at my house that included my mom, Matt's parents, his brother Luke and my new sister-in-law Lacie. Since I was busy cooking Matt dressed Madelyn for the occasion...and this is what she came downstairs in...

Camo. On Christmas.

Proceed to check "let Matt dress Madelyn for special occasions" off my list of things to delegate and add "my husband is a redneck" to list of items for he and I to discuss.

After lunch we moved on to presents. Madelyn helped uncle Luke open his gifts and then she moved on to hers which included her new BFF, this bear that is twice the size of her.

The next morning Madelyn eagerly tore in to her gifts, most of which we caught on video. The pictures really don't do it justice, so I'll just include one of her in her cute jammies. Aww.

The next day my mom headed back to Florida and we went up to Matt's parent's house where Madelyn proceeded to reorganize the tupperware cabinet and learn to "play" the piano.

And last but certainly not least--the snow!! It was gorgeous.

With Christmas and 2010 nearly in the books we're working on our family goals and plans for 2011, and just enjoying life being back to "normal". Of course, every time I say that some random cosmic act occurs which throws everything off, but for now, it's nice and quiet :)

Practical vs. Not So Much

2010-12-28T09:00:00.003-05:00

Merry late Christmas everyone! I hope you are all recovering from the holiday whirlwind. I feel like no matter how much I clean I just can't quite get the house back to normal because every time I move I step on a barbie doll or errant bow.

Santa was very good to us. As were our families, and our neighbors who kindly provided us with enough baked goods to pad my tummy for winter hibernation. Thanks for that.

We really had a wonderful Christmas. Madelyn had a ball opening her gifts (pictures and videos to come thanks to a new toy from my sister, aka, Aunt Lulu), we spent a lot of time with family, and to top it all off, it snowed on Christmas! In Atlanta! It was gorgeous. We got about 3" which was just enough to be pretty without causing any major travel issues, at least for us.

On a random note, one thing that always makes me laugh at Christmas is the vast difference in my Christmas wish list versus Matt's. You see, Matt is a 9 year old boy at heart and he LOVES Christmas. And he isn't shy about his wish list. At any given moment he can spout off idea after idea about what toys he wants. And they are all toys. A four wheeler, an iPad, some fancy accessory for his car; he's really quite ambitious and not at all practical.

And every year I ask for the nice things I won't buy myself but that would really benefit the household: new (super-soft organic) sheets, cookbooks, face wash, and other miscellaneous items that Matt considers totally boring but that I take some ridiculous delight in.

I guess it's just one of our polar differences.

That being said, I was showered with gifts both practical and impractical. All in all I feel very spoiled and very very lucky. And now I know what my parents meant when they used to talk about how it was so much more gratifying to watch your little ones open gifts than to open your own. That is so true.

Tradition

2010-12-21T10:29:00.003-05:00

If there is ever a time for family tradition, it is Christmas. And I love traditions. To me, they are like these little comforting moments in a life that often chaotic and overwhelming. It's not likely that everyone will remember the gifts you got them every year, but they will remember the moments you shared around the tree, the amazing food you ate, the stories you read, and the little things you did to add some personal meaning and sentiment to the day.

When you have a child, this responsibility is heightened. I've racked my brain (and the internet) trying to think of ways to plant these little jewels of tradition into Madelyn's memory, and to make her family Christmas unlike any other. Should we make an annual personalized ornament? Should we buy her a book where we record Christmas memories every year? Bake cookies? The possibilities are endless.

In the end, Matt and I decided to keep it simple. After all, I'm am a "less is more" kind of girl.

So, without further adeu, Marden family tradition #1: On Christmas Eve we're planning to cuddle up in bed together and read Twas the Night Before Christmas. On the inside of the book we'll write a small note each year about where we are, who we're with, etc...

And tradition #2: Pancake breakfast on Christmas day. Because every good holiday should start with an ample serving of carbs.

And tradition #3: We'll give. To everyone we can. I want Madelyn to know that Christmas has little to do with Santa and more to do with helping others in the spirit of Jesus. We have everything we need and far more than what we could ever want, and it's important to us that Madelyn grow up knowing the value of helping others, especially this time of year.

So there you have it. Let the festivities begin!!

My nemesis

2010-12-17T12:34:00.011-05:00

Approximately three years ago I received a wedding gift in the form of a cuisinart. I thought with this new apparatus I was well on my way to unlocking the domestic genious within. I was going to shred, chop, and puree my way into my husband's heart. Every time he saw that blessed tool on the counter he'd know something tasty was about to be revealed.

Now, three years later, I have yet to even take that little guy out of the box.

In fact, I'm downright scared of it. Kind of like the first time I bought mango. It's fear of the unknown. With the mango I didn't know how to cut it or what to do with it once I did, and for years I avoided recipes including this ingredient (mango salsa, salmon with mango rice, many very delicious things) because I felt inadequately prepared to handle it. Kind of how I feel about my cuisinart. When I see that a recipe involves the use of this tool I immediately flip the page and move on.

I'm not sure what it is. I mean, it's an inanimate object for crying out loud. I think partially I just see all of those little parts and don't want to try and figure out how to assemble, disassemble, and then let's be honest, CLEAN all of those tiny separate pieces. And I don't want to take the time to learn it, which is just plain laziness.

But not this year. 2011 is the year of the cuisinart. No longer will I subject myself to carpal tunnel from chopping every.single.ingredient for guacamole, or resist making delicious soups because I have puree-a-phobia. Me and my Cuizy are finally going to become BFFs. After all, it's been three years in the making.

Slightly spoiled

2010-12-13T20:59:00.007-05:00

I'm spoiled. I don't act like it, but I've always been just slightly spoiled by my parents. My mom gives me back rubs every time I see her and cooks me anything I want. My dad sends me a card almost every week, and often sneaks in a little money for Matt and I to have a nice dinner out. Backrubs and food? These people obviously know the way to my heart.

That being said, my dad told me several years ago that he would continue to spoil me and my sister until the day we acted spoiled. At that point it would end. I don't take Anything for granted, I think God for my blessings every night, and I know how lucky I am. Spoiled or not.

But the spoiling I've seen directed toward my offspring has taken on a life of it's own.

This week we received THREE boxes in the mail addressed to Madelyn, each larger than her in size. And she's a tall one and a half year old. We have a tree full of presents underneath and they're pretty much all for one special little girl. Matt and I were trying to decide what to get her for Christmas and we're at a loss! Her grandparents have covered every necessity, every want, and every possible wish. We are truly so blessed.

It may take three days for her to tear through all of her little tokens of love from family and friends, but we'll enjoy watching every single one.

And here she is in all of her glory in front of the tree. Disreguard her wind-burned cheeks, it's been a literal arctic tundra in Atlanta this week. Oh, and please also disreguard the fact that there aren't ornaments on the bottom 1/3 of the tree. We're having a contest to see how many ornaments Madelyn grabs and shatters on the ground in fits of joy before this holiday is over. Let's just say she's winning.

(here she is concocting her next plan of attack. She's had her eye on my shiny penguin ornament all week)

Where my bells at?

2010-12-06T13:28:00.004-05:00

Has anyone noticed a serious shortage of Salvation Army bell ringers out this year? What the heck? I set a personal goal every year to give at least a little bit to every single bell ringer I pass, but at this rate I won't even go through the change under my car seats!

Oh, and to the grammar police out there, I know you aren't supposed to end a sentence (or blog title) with a preposition, but I just couldn't help but give a subtle homage to my favorite ad campaign and hilarious you tube video found here.

Anyways, I am back from Paris. I published a post right before I left but for some reason it showed up several posts down the page. Blogger error? Not sure. More likely user error. Anywhoo-- it was a very quick, very busy trip. I arrived to the city of lights lightly blanketed in snow which I didn't expect. It was stunning. I loved seeing those little villages covered in snow from the plane. So quaint and sweet. I imagined every one one of those houses looking just like Kate Winslet's character's house in The Holiday and I could practically smell the chocolate croissants baking in the kitchen.

Speaking of chocolate croissants, or pain au chocolate if you will, I ate many many of these during my stay. I wasn't a huge fan of the fancy food we had available at our meeting so I pretty much ate carbs the entire time. I swear the bread and butter there is the best I have EVER tasted. I also made a cab driver take me past the Eiffel Tower so I could see it decorated for Christmas one night. So worth it. The entire city was decorated, it was so gorgeous. And, in a move that seemed to shock both of us, I told said cab driver where I wanted to go in a full French sentence and he actually understood!

But as they always say, there is no place like home. I am happy to be here and to wake up to Madelyn's sweet sounds, eat homemade American food, and speak a language who's grammar rules I know enough to actually be aware when I'm breaking them.

B-Day

2010-11-24T14:05:00.004-05:00

Don't worry, you didn't forget my birthday. There is a new meaning for the popular abbreviation "B-day" and it's an exciting descriptor for my day yesterday which I have dubbed Breast Biopsy Day. Yay.

Not so much.

All in all, the biopsy wasn't fun but it wasn't as terrible as I had mentally prepared myself for. I did almost faint at the end which prompted the nurses to cover me in cold rags and force apple juice into my mouth, and that was just plain embarrasing. But I never react well to numbing agents, in fact I have a very low tolerance to any medicine, so this wasn't a huge surprise.

I'll spare you the gory details and leave you with some "highlights":

1- I get to work in bed with an ice pack tucked into my bra.
2- I forgot how yummy apple juice is. Yummm.
3- I had a really fast-talking doctor from Africa who was very sweet to me even with my negative attitude and the fact that I told her 9 times "I don't want to see anything and please don't tell me step-by-step what you're doing!" I really just wanted to slip into my yoga breathing and picture myself and Ryan Reynolds on an island somewhere.
4- They put a chip into the tumor so that when I get older it will show up on mammograms and they'll know they already looked at it. Matt is convinced the government is now tracking my every move. I'm pretty sure once they see how few exciting things I do they'll become disinterested and move on.
5- I can't lift Madelyn for 5 days but we're heading to Orlando tonight for THANKSGIVING (!) so my mom can help with the monkey.
6- It's done. The best highlight of all.

Hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday!

It's ON!

2010-11-23T09:05:00.006-05:00

Our house that is...its officially on the market!! We're just slightly excited.

Here are a few pictures. You never know who out there may know someone who wants to move to the beautiful suburb of Fayetteville.

The house is precious. We've truly put our heart and soul into it and will miss it dearly, but it's time for us to move on. And "on" for us means moving closer to work and family.

We've had many late-night get togethers on the back deck, celebrated bringing our baby girl home, even had our first kiss on the couch in the living room back when Matt's parents still owned the house. It's dripping with memories, and we will no doubt be dripping with tears upon leaving it.

I only hope her next owners love her as much as we have:)

Poor me

2010-11-18T08:58:00.005-05:00

Poor me.

Tonight I leave for a 3 day business trip in Paris. I get to stay in the most beautiful hotel in the city, right next to the Opera House and a sweet little street vendor that sells the best scarves. I get to eat nutella and banana crepes for breakfast and indulge in French coffee and chocolate which in my opinion are the absolute best.

(from a website called We Heart It but I don't have time to find the link)

I'll fly first class, drinking wine and watching movies of my choice before reclining in my seat and sleeping the rest of the flight away.

Poor, poor me.

I'll also be flying for a total of 19 hours, working 12-14 hour days, surviving on coffee because I tend to experience extreme levels of jet lag when I travel overseas, and spending three precious days away from my honey and my Madelyn who literally evolves in front of my eyes every single day. I figure by the time I get back she'll be going to ballet class and practicing long division. Scary.

Bonjour for now, blog friends!

Craving boring

2010-11-18T08:44:00.004-05:00

I'm fighting an unusual craving and it appears I'm going to lose. It's not the usual battle I wage between myself and the M&Ms in the work kitchen, or the draw to the couch when I really need to work out, it's a craving for one full week of normal, boring life.

It feels like since the spring it has been one thing after the other. Car repairs, house repairs, Matt traveling, myself traveling, illnesses, birthday parties, you name it, we've done it.

Sadly the next 6 weeks don't look much better.

This week had a lot of potential to be the week I needed. No major plans in sight (until Thanksgiving of course), my dad flying in on Friday which I was so looking forward to, and I appeared to be off the hook for an upcoming meeting in Paris which I didn't want to work (more on that later). Then yesterday I took Madelyn up to the pediatric pulmonologist to find out she has asthma. Coming from an asthmatic, this is like a parental nightmare because it's a condition that's generally difficult to anticipate and even more difficult to control. And as we all know, I like control.

After returning home I noticed the smell of gas around our water heater, and after a hour of "do I call the emergency service line? Do I not call? Am I crazy?" I called. Good thing, because we had a small gas leak. "Of course we do" I thought to myself.

Today we're meeting with the listing agent to get our house on the market. Next Tuesday I have my biopsy to confirm "the lump" is nothing (can you tell I'm confident?), Wednesday we head down to Florida for 5 days, and Tuesday I leave for Paris. Turns out I do have to go. Of course I do.

I know one day when it's just Matt and I sitting around, old and retired, I'll think about the days when we ran around like crazies and wished for a sometimes quieter life, and I'll feel blessed we had so many fun things to do and so many wonderful people to do them with.

But for now, all this mama wants is a plain, old, boring week.

How I spent my weekend

2010-11-16T20:51:00.003-05:00

This is me in the middle of my two dear friends, Dai and Kristin. We're riding a motorized cooler through the streets of Gainesville, Florida in the midst of gameday mayhem. Just a normal Saturday.

Note: next time you ride a cooler, don't wear a dress.

And to the officer who insisted we immediately park our "vehicle" because we were endangering pedestrians, it IS street legal.

If you wanted to bust us for something you should have checked the inside of the cooler for open containers.

Just sayin'.

My best gift ever

2010-11-10T16:03:00.017-05:00

Every year I have the hardest time trying to figure out what to give my dad for Christmas. You'd think, given that he's one of my favorite people and I know him so well, that this would be a slam dunk. Oh, if it were only that easy.

Let's not even mention that when you have an 8 month old baby at home, the last thing you want to do is spend your weekends trudging through the mall racking your brain for creative ideas all the while risking an inevitable infant meltdown every minute you forge on.

After years of DVDs and picture frames I cracked the code, thanks to Shutterfly. I made my Dad a hard cover photo book chronicling those first 8 months of Madelyn's life. And he said it was hands-down his favorite gift he'd ever been given (minus myself and my sister, duh). He was in awe of how professional and polished the book was. More importantly, he loved every little piece of evidence that he had been there for Madelyn's most important moments. He still talks about "the book" to this day, which says a lot given that the guy pretty much has everything he wants.

This year when I asked him what was on his list for Santa he simply replied "another one of those flutterfly books of my sweet little granddaughter" (he can never remember the word Shutterfly which I find very endearing for such a successful, professional guy).

I've been a long time user of Shutterfly and these books are really just the icing on the cake. They have a huge expanded selection of holiday cards and tons of beautiful, creative gift ideas that your friends and family will treasure. Here are a few of my favorites. As you can probably tell, I'm a "less is more" kind of girl :) Oh, and I love Christmas cards that mention peace and joy which many of their's do.

So simple yet so sweet! I just die over that picture.

Starlight Flurries

Again, simple and pretty

Full of Love

I love this brown as a Christmas color (yes, I'm the girl who's entire house is tan, don't judge me)

Peace and Joy

these luggage tags would make an adorable gift for newlyweds

these notebooks would make a great gift for someone who compulsively makes to do lists. ahem.

Everything I've ever ordered from Shutterfly has been great quality and has shipped quickly, which is great for an admittedly impatient person like myself.

And, since not everyone is as boring as me, here are a few really fun cards:

Glow and Behold

Initially chic (I don't know about you, but this girl LOVES a monogram)

Retro Chic

Happy holiday gift ordering, everyone!

Bloggers- get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly! Sign up here.

My new digs

2010-11-08T20:05:00.002-05:00

I'd like to thank the fabulous Penny Lane Designs for my gorgeous site makeover!

I saw this template on her site and just fell in love.

Everyone needs a little makeover every now and then. Since I've already done my house and my closet, the blog was just bound to be next. And when I say I made-over my house and closet, you should know the great majority of the items that made those acts possible came from Target.
And took years to complete.

A day for me

2010-11-06T18:39:00.004-04:00

Today was my day. The entire day. Matt was taking Madelyn to his parents house and going to a football game, and I have been alone, on my own, since 7 a.m. this morning.

ALL I have asked for all summer and fall is one day to myself, to do whatever I want, and not have to take care of anything but myself.

Well I got my day. And I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself. Seriously. How ridiculous is that?

I had plans in the morning to get together with some girlfriends and ooh and aah over a new baby in the group. It was just as fun as I expected. I absolutely cherish my girl time. I guess I'm a bit of a girl's girl, which is probably good given that I'm raising one. We had lovely conversations about nap times, entertaining children when it's cold out, how wine and coffee are so essential to motherhood, and how our husbands parent our children completely different than we do, simply because they're men.

Turns out once you have kids you just can't help but talk about them, even in the rare moments you get some time away. Go figure.

After my time with the ladies I went to the mall, but the whole time I felt rushed. I think that's just my default setting these days. Rush home from work. Rush to get ready. Rush rush rush.

I mean, I'm a fast walker anyways but you would have thought I was one of those speed-walking women pumping my arms and sporting a fanny pack. You know the type.

Anyways, I finally calmed myself down. I tried on some dresses for a few events we have coming up but didn't buy a single thing except for an eggnog latte from Starbucks.

Now I'm home missing my honey and my monkey. I missed them all day. I baked a double batch of these muffins, a batch of this Uh-mazing rice pudding, and now I'm sipping a glass of red and halfway watching football.

Turns out a day to myself was nice, but not all it was cracked up to be. I think a few hours would have been sufficient.

So much of who I am now is Madelyn's mommy that when I spend an entire day away from her it truly feels like a little piece of my heart is missing. It's quiet, and my idle hands aren't

quite sure what to do with "free time." Imagine that.

Matt and this little face will be home in a few hours and I plan to spend all day tomorrow loving on them and being grateful they make my heart feel so full. And next time I'll be careful what I wish for :)